I’ll comment on the double standard, not divorce issues. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Our ENTIRE consumer economy above the level of unskilled labor is based on the idea that a man should try to attract a woman by supplicating to and worshipping her just for lacking a penis, AS IF SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WITHOUT ONE (?!). The Industrial Revolution provided for our basic needs, so Consumer Culture was defined, and it is this culture that is destroying instinctive and successful romance. Though men bought into YEARLY CHANGING *FASHION* for a brief time in the 70s, when advances in clothing manufacture allowed new styles to be created without retooling, modern women have bought into it permanently, and have become very much more status obsessed and catty towards each other, and this female culture has ruined their personalities. They all act spoiled, even though their status symbol products are not even hand made, nor rare, nor have any resale value a mere year later.
You want double standard? Notice how bust size and firmness is not even listed in personal ads yet a guy would be very hated-on if he demanded a size range in his essay. Yet over half of the cute women on such sites spell out in ALL CAPS that men who are not of a certain HEIGHT should stop writing them since they’ll just delete the message. The ironic thing is that its usually a few golddiggers but mainly very SHORT women who write such things, who average two inches above five feet. This being a blog of a psychologist, I think the term “compensation” applies, the cliche being a poorly endowed man buying a Ferrari. I also warn such women, that tall men do NOT answer ads like that except for one reason: casual sex. Another warning: 20% of men on such sites are married.
Look at every status object advert for either sex. The IMAGES are almost all of a woman just EXISTING as aloof trophy objects, with one or more men worshipfully offering her drinks, dinner, diamonds and dwelling. I mean this can work for really cute young golddiggers, but in actuality, even for them, it is a biological fact that men who try to impress women by being “nice guys” who pay for dinner create sexual repulsion in women. That’s the Big Lie that Madison Avenue doesn’t want exposed.
Another Big Lie is that *diamonds*, not only being mined in slavery conditions, are NOT ACTUALLY RARE, most being ground up to make industrial abrasive, as a *monopoly* called DeBeers racks in the profits. Yet I suggest, very strongly, that no man EVER complains about this insanity to a date, it being the romantic equivalent to bragging about your ‘Star Wars’ models.
Note to women: YOU have bought into Madison Ave’s construction of what will make you happy. Even college students spend over one THOUSAND dollars on a purse, every year. You throw away your barely worn clothes, EVERY YEAR OR TWO! Start being less like weird materialistic zombie clones and be more like people so men will becomes less rightfully interested in you only for sex. Once again a psychological term comes to mind: “projection”, in that women spend thousands of dollars a year on accessories that do not in ANY way attract men, but in fact often repel them since it indicates that you have, uh hum, idiotically expensive tastes.
There’s a derogatory word for wussy MEN who do the same thing: “metrosexual”. Guess what? Most women are HIGHLY metrosexual, and it makes them just as unattractive as people.
I have found a few RARE exceptions to meterosexual women, and they are the ones who, in high school, were loners outside of the “popularity circuit” completely. However, this also, on average makes their adult mental health unstable.
Madison Ave. has ALSO brainwashed almost ALL modern women (indeed the weaker sex if so easily susceptible to propoganda) into having a NEUROTIC OBSESSION with being UNATTRACTIVELY skinny! When you finally get a new girlfriend, she drives you, as a man, CRAZY with this mental disorder as she spends half her free time exercising so to create for herself the figure of a nine year old boy. THEN, when they fail this biologically unhealthy task, they BUY pants according to waist size envy instead of what actually FITS, so they walk around with COMPLETELY ARTIFICIAL “love handles” which in ancient mankind indicated parasitic worm infections or worse. The REVERSE the ratio of their hips being larger than their waist!
Also, REALIZE, logically, that in days of old, when your brain evolved its sexual instincts, humans lived in racially homogeneous groups. On average, African men are much taller than Mexican men. So in the PAST, a shorter man was indeed a good indicator of sickness and a bad immune system. But today, living in melting pot cities, height is NO LONGER an indication of vitality. But what do we here every day from groups of girls as they inquire about each others latest dates? The question pops up: “What’s he like?” The answer almost always includes two words: a shy “He’s TALL.” if she likes him, or an apprehensive “He’s nice….” if she doesn’t. Then the topic changes to celebrity gossip again.
Things like this, and more, make the average attractive woman unattractive to the average attractive man, EXCEPT AS SEX OBJECTS. American women are, on average, even the professional ones, SUPERFICIAL, STATUS-OBSESSED FOOLS.
The funniest thing is that all their status-object handbags are made by robots or sweat shop labor at a cost of only a few dollars, and use BRASS pins and pin holes where they should use steal, so EVEN if they DID want to keep them, they literally would not last more than two years. I own a machine shop. The number of accessories I’ve had to repair for dates is ridiculous.
There is also the fact that no matter what the age, situation or status of those involved in early dating, it is the female that will TEST the man for psychological vigor and health by MISBEHAVING once or twice. It is hard-wired, so can be unconscious. It’s a test for what type of father he will make, since, of course, children misbehave all the time, and dealing with that is what’s called “parenting”. For the guys out there, I’ll let you in on a little strategy advise: learn to RECOGNIZE these episodes (for instance she dresses in sweat clothes for a date, takes a 10+ minute cell phone call over dinner, arrives 20 minutes late etc.) as what they are: TESTS.
There is only one correct response to such early tests: imagine she is your child and you are now forced to discipline them. Getting angry tells her you’d be abusive. Worse, ignoring it means you will not make act as a father at all. To be fair, since men are willing to act nice, especially since that’s what the Media tells us to do, in order to be “liked” and thus romantically successful, how ELSE can a woman quickly figure out what you are really like?
What our politically correct culture has also ruined for MOST men who “dress to impress” and act nice is that ACTING part of acting nice, which in most cases involves HIDING your sexual attraction for girls you meet, as if such attraction is shameful in the first place and harassing to express. Guess what guys? After looking around at HOW women dress in skin-tight clothing and after a couple drinks do strip club act dance moves at clubs, uh, just REALIZE that ignoring her physical allure is idiotic. Most of those women spend half their money and time shopping for outfits, and an average of three HOURS to get made up, just to get noticed AS SEXUAL OBJECTS.
Merely sneaking peaks at her shirtline will label you as lacking sexual confidence, especially given the simple fact that a “good man” is a LOT harder to find than a “good woman” since women need much more than niceness and sexual attraction to be happy in a relationship. Even speaking English or having a career path at all is optional in what type of cute girl I’d date. Missing teeth, bad breath, morbid obesity or open sores are about the only limits most men have to what type of female they would happily date (except that higher income men also need a date who will fit into “upscale restaurant culture”).
See, men LACK the “sexual repulsion” instinct that kicks in for women, early on, at the slightest hat drop, and very strongly (though she wont likely let you know that you know that she secretly finds you repulsively unmanly). Of course this has an evolutionary origin: men do not risk getting pregnant. An open secret that nobody talks about is that the balance of power UTTERLY shifts towards the man the moment she starts having orgasms with him (since they release the exact same hormone that bonds women with their newborns). What’s the ancient lamentation of women throughout history?
“He didn’t call back. Men are dogs!”
Guess why we don’t call back. Because, the novelty and ego factors being fulfulled, you are not a HUMAN BEING we want to know, or after you have removed your corset-like dress and your makeup has ran, you look like our mother in the morning, which, had you been honest about your actual lack of supermodel looks in the first place would not be such a shock to us. Spending money and hours on looking better than you really do is the exact moral equivalent of a man maxing out his credit card to look rich, and lying about his profession, which is why bragging is so unattractive to women. Guess what? Us men feel the same way about women who waste money on shoes and purses and wear too much make-up, but we don’t involuntarily fall in love when we have orgasms, so we move on, searching for a non-American (disloyal brainwashed zombie) girlfriend, basically.
That said much of the female-bashing on threads like this one is due to men who simply have not taken the TIME to learn about female psychology and so keep, again and again, buying $100 dinners for women and it doesn’t go anywhere except with a few marriage-minded women. Such women act like the world’s greatest porn stars, after hitting the gym three times a week. When they find a husband, the party is over, the relationship thus dies, and she makes off with the cash.
The DIVORCE LAWS are strongly prejudicial against men, so indeed a divorced *man* may indeed be much more bitter than a divorced woman, for good reason: he’s been shafted. 85% of divorces are initiated by women and result in a man having to pay a lot of money each month, after losing half or all of the possessions more than likely HE paid for.
So my essay really is about dating divorced people, especially men. It’s SO easy for women to fully satisfy men and yet very hard for men to fully satisfy women, and women are divorcing men at a rate of almost 70% (90% for college educated couples, meaning higher income ones!!!). Maybe if American women learned to be happier as people the divorce rate in the USA would not be 5-6 times that of Mexico, Spain or Italy.
Have men changed? Yes, they have been emasculated. Have women changed? Yes, they have been emasculating men for years, destroying their attraction to them! They now dominate the elementary school system, where even normal boyhood has been banned, even medicated, which is when the process begins. The answer for many men? Don’t marry. Just date young girls whose biological clocks are not yet ringing, meaning most of their female friends are single too. I’d suggest dating divorced women who already have kids, but I tried that, and “till ten” babysitters or “family” dates are major romance killers.
