seems less sexist, than pragmatic.
SURE, we’d like the articles to be “fair” in some way, but that flies in the face of the idea that men and women are different with different agendas. Both articles are written by a woman, and both are seen from her point of view. Why then are we suprised that there is a bias? If she might not be as fair as could be, well, we can hope that Dr. Helen would put together a balanced panel, and write soem sort of book from that.
Things to remember [true at times, but not always, naturally] When a woman dates a divorced guy, EPS. with children, her problem ISN’T him, it’s the ex. She is competing with another woman. She may hate her, or may wonder what it was that ended it, but the fact that the ex- can and often does take up the Divorced Man’s time, causes frictional issues. Also? If this guy is serious at all about being in his kids lives, defacto he has to divide attention from the next possible partner.
It is up to her to deal with this or not, of course. Telling NewGirl she should demand all attention, is ultimately stupid. If you try to divide a man’s loyalty this way, you are going to get what you wish for. Either he will give in, or he will remain loyal to the only people in his life who are innocent. If he gives in to her, that means he will give in to someone else the next time. If he remains loyal to his own children, then she will have to learn to share. With luck she will realize that his loyalty and attention actually grows larger that way.
Really companion articles to the two need to be written from the guy’s perspective… even IF guys will never read them. To provide the other persepctive, to show the other way in which a guy might think to women.
A Tangential note that is a curiosity… I would NEVER introduce or try to integrate my children into a dating realtionship, unless it was very serious, and long term. Children are innocent, and easily hurt by vaguries that adults deal with without thinking. Yet, I have know several women that wanted me to immediately start interacting with their kids, and they were angry when I explained my position on introducing kids to the mix too soon. Is that a guy thing? Seems like she might be happy that I was protective of my kids, AND her kids… but that wasn’t the case… :shrug: guess I’ll keep looking…
maybe one of us should just write the book:
“if you want peace, then live alone…”
