A bad marriage will affect you in interesting ways. Although you may be relieved that it’s over, you don’t know how to act without the other party’s influence. Consider the similarities between the effects of living with a mentally and/or physically abusive partner and Stockholm syndrome. There are also parallels between this type of marriage and chattel slavery. No matter how glad you are to be out of the marriage you’re going to be an emotional wreck. So:
Learn how to be single again, and don’t jump into the dating thing too quick. The worse the marriage the longer it is going to take to recover. There will be resentment and a feeling of loss. Work through those first. If you have custody of your children you’re in for an interesting ride, because many women (divorced and otherwise) don’t want a man who is raising children. I have had several tell me that they really liked me, but “the kids are a problem”. I love my children more than life itself and they will always be welcome in my home. I can’t tell you how much it hurt to hear that.
In dating a divorced woman choose someone who is sane and has herself gotten beyond the resentment and loss. If she talks incessantly about her ex (or other boyfriends) or has anger management issues she’s not ready (the same goes for you). Many divorced women want to jump right back into an emotional/physical relationship without considering the long term prospects. If you don’t pay attention to this you will find yourself having multiple short-term sexual relationships, and there are very good reasons to avoid that sort of thing.
Charlie
