Emperor Obama’s North Carolina Borodino
The following are a few excerpts from a 19th. century book discovered by Misanthropicus in a bouquinist’s shop in Paris a few years ago, the book (a narrative), written by one Henri-Marie Beyle being a description of mister Beyle’s military experience as a staff officer in the Napoleon Bonaparte’s army during the disastrous Russian campaign/battle of Borodino. Besides the intrinsic value of this work, what makes Misanthropicus to submit the following excerpts to the PJM readership is mister Beyle’s ability to fuse in his narrative his 19th. century military memories with visions of current American political battles in a startlingly relevant manner (mr. Beyle’s text translated, abridged/edited by Misanthropicus):
“[…] the Borodino/North Carolina hills battle was over and we were the winners […] hills dotted with cadavers of soldiers from both parties […] The road to Moscow was open for us, our heroic, long campaign across this realm was bearing fruits. Yet, as we were all standing still, looking at [Obama] I, and I guess not few others began to have the gnawing feeling that this last valiant offense and victory [North Caroline hills] was actually an ominously [stop sign???] for our ill conceived adventure in a country whose enormous dimensions, topographic and demographic features despite our good maps, were inscrutable for our tacticians since […] North Carolina was a clear sign that we had reached our limits […] future battles wins, possible, but the thought of the incoming confrontation with the Republicans was chilling […].”Republicans are well known for their steadfastness, the volatility of our infantry will doom us […]”
“[…] later, more apprehensions. The North Carolina hills battles a bitter memory […] fratricidal, costly battle caused by mad ambitions. We simply are overextended, we cannot expand our resources to contain the Republicans who are somewhere behind the forests, scouts report well-organized, incoming columns to McCain’s camp, columns which are then efficiently dispatched to controlling hills and rivers junctions. […] sinister privateers and partisans also have been reported encroaching on our communications routes […]”
“[…] Obama says that his plan is based on the fact that Americans are primitive and their clinging bitterly to guns and Bibles is due only to the booze and amphetamines which they abundantly make and consume in the forest, we have intelligence about this from Arianne Huffington and Frank Rich […]
[...] bad news from home, d’Enghien’s, Wright’s, Ayres’s and Larry Sinclair’s phantoms have inflamed in a very pernicious degree our American subjects’ minds, Thomas Frank and David Branccaccio say we’re well positioned, Americans can’t govern themselves, can’t figure out what’s good for them […]”
“[…] at the dinner table, a grim Ney pointed to the fact that while we still have the superiority in numbers, out attempt to recruit from the defeated Hillarian camp proved to be useless, ‘Most of them would rather join McCain, those bastards!’ grumbled Marat […] a very difficult situation indeed, long, difficult supply lines, lack of clear, promising policies for our new American subjects, awful, offending pronouncements which turned against us countless voivodates […] stubborn, hostile, uncooperative, narrow-minded population, Arianna and Jane Fonda are right […]”
“[…] Obama went ballistic when Marat opened the Operation Chaos issue, we don’t have warm water […] more hysteria about those vicious AM stations which dot this land and we cannot conquer […] Obama says that he’s still undecided on whether to accept military help from Muslim countries for the Kansas, Alaska, Texas and Colorado assault, it may be counterproductive, Clooney said that it would be a clever move, my hemorrhoids hurt and all these idiots […] the atmosphere is not good […]”
[…] again irritation, we learn that Michelle has again made a fool of herself back home […] Marat complains about the quality of the MoveOnOrg, HuffPo and Daily Kos recruits, he finds them very stupid, Bernadotte confirms, adding that they are also prey to a terrible acne epidemic […] more hygiene […] that stupid pansy, Chris Matthews says that Air America is the solution, I simply cannot stand him anymore, he is SO stupid! […] Bill Richardson, to the general consternation said that we’re doing fine, and requested extra body guards the reason being some Hillarian killers stalking him, Ney threw a bowl of soup at him, accusing him that he plans to flee to Mexico with a sack of gold […]”
“[ …] the wine was good, and so was the chicken, but the dinner was spoiled by the news that on the enormous bay siding our, already overexposed left-wing, numerous Republican swift boats are gathering, then upon planning vanish in the ocean’s fog or sneak upriver, for later strikes […] various consultants say that those swift boats are practically unstoppable, their strikes have sunk many mighty campaigns […] not much cheese around, now I am certain that the historians will describe the North Carolina victory as the beginning of the end for us […]”
“[…] later, Obama examines the map and asks Coulaincourt about the name of a river: ‘That is Berezina, mon empereur,’ that reptile answers, then the emperor, after considering the map says: “I think that the Berezina route is the safest exit for us, my friends […] I fear for what’s in store for us. My god, and we haven’t even met the Republicans![…]”
A suivre.
