I am proud to be single, never married and 40. At my age, the fruits of this ‘lifestyle’ are finally ripening as my friends are now in less than enviable positions compared to me. I try not to rub it into my friends, but those strangers who question my choices are the ones I delight in exhibiting my various freedoms to.
This is such an incredibly large topic it is hard to know where to begin. A lot of these problems actually seem to stem from actually positive drives. Remember that the roots of modern feminism accomplished many great things but has, in my opinion, overreached itself – it is ok to be a woman, really. Women, since before we were a species (sorry, creationists), have been making things better for themselves and consequently for their offspring and have, in my view, made our species. I believe that it takes a woman of great enlightenment to hold back the millenia ingrained simple desire for ‘better’ that really has served its purpose almost entirely – women have arrived, the struggle is over and men (yes) have created paradise here on earth at womens’ behest.
I cannot hope to cover all the bases here, so I will relate my personal story:
I remember wanting to get married. I remember feeling good about paying for everything and thinking about providing for a wife. I was engaged to my dream woman for a year and just 2 months shy of our marriage date the military did a 180 and stationed me in a state that wasn’t her cup of tea. That was it and she backed out. I was still foolish enough to try to reason with her that it was just two years… Well, it let me step back and take a fresh look at women. Being in the military allowed an even more candid look as the number was about 15 men to one woman. Lots of cheating by wives during their husbands’ deployments, the use of marriage and pregnancy/abortion to simply get what they wanted.
I have genuinely come to the conclusion that women are incredibly selfish. I think that a large part of why this is so acceptable to our society is because of the connection between women and children. Cuturally, we tend to equate the idea of ‘what is good for her’ with ‘what is good for the children’ – this equation runs so deep she doesn’t even have to have children. Because of this, women do have permission to do as they please – what benefits them most, without any real regard to children. If a woman leaves a man or even cheats on him it is seen as ok because it is best for her – with the unspoken and largely unthought equation of that with what is best for the children. I often question whether a woman can actually commit to a man, and think that the ones that stick with one through imperfect times simply don’t have a better deal somewhere else.
This selfishness served its purpose better in the past than it does now. Womens’ behavior was much more limited in the past than it is now. I think it is time for women to realize that some of thier innate behavior nneds to be reigned in just as men have innate behaviors that need to be moderated.
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Don’t forget about common-law marriages that require surprisingly short times in various states.
