I am on the of seemingly few women who lost nearly all of her (<substantial, six-figure, pre-marriage) assets as a result of marriage to someone very inappropriate – essentailly a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
The man I married was my boyfriend (puppy love) in Grade 13, and, being somewhat innocent to the ways of the world, I thought all men were like my (highly respectable and responsible father and grandfather). To my great financial and emotional peril and subsequent distress, I did not realise that the man I married essentially was operating at an adolescent level (emotionally) – and who did not feel that a little issue being married would cramp his (hidden-to-me) life style of sex (with other ladies), drugs and rock’n roll. My ex-husband enjoyed pornography movies, magazines like Hustler, Swank et al (even, I found out much later, showing said magazines to my father). To add insult to injury, after finishing his white collar job on Friday nights, this man would frequent the local strip clubs with his buddies. I found out about all of this behaviour (and more) after I married him, oh, much, much later after myself and my family supported him financially through five years of post-secondary education (college then university).
After having (finally) left him, albeit childless, I found that men did not (and do not) appreciate a goody two shoes type of woman who is sincere. And no, I am not ugly nor fat nor uneducated.
Now that I have passed the 45-year old mark, I am considered in astonishingly good shape. I have no wrinkles, am fit, have good morals, etc., but I cannot find a man who I would feel comfortable with. The men I have met all want to jump into bed – and have absolutely no intentions of marrying – ever.
Sadly, I wanted to educate my now ex-husband – so that I would be able to stay at home and have three or four children – then pursue a Masters and a Phd – much later when the kids were in Grade 7 or 8.
Sadly, my ex also spent money with abandon – and stated to me that he did not care whether he lived past 55 – hence he had no desire to plan his life with me. He just did not care.
My now ex-husband lost his white collar professional job and had to declare bankruptcy after shacking up with a women he met in a bar. I have no idea as to where the money went that was taken from our joint account after I trustingly sold two homes which I owned prior to the marriage in order to liquidate so that (ahem) we could build our dream home. Of course this never happened.
I am a very attractive woman, Master-level educated and with good morals and excellent well-educated friends and a very nice extended family who all mirror my ethics and life habits. But I cannot forthe life of me find a man with whom I could start a relationship. No one wants to get married. Moreover, men THINK that all women subsribe to the “Sex in the City” television programme mentality as displayed by the four pathetic loser females portrayed on that show.
Unfortunately, I never had children. After 12 years of marriage, my ex-husband stated that he did not want to be 55 with 20-year-old children. Another excuse from a man who lived in a state of perpetual adolescence.
Meanwhile, I sacrificed my finances and my full efforts at working hard to ensure this guy could go to university without any worries or financial care. I am not bitter, however; just very, very sad about the fact that my efforts were not appreciated; in fact my efforts were laughed at.
I felt that I had to make these points – as I see so many bitter men having written about their experiences. Not all women are bad, selfish gold-diggers. And not all men are bad either – no, not at all.
There are women who have also been financially excoriated; moreover, there are women who have put all of their efforts into the institution of marriage and in fact have sacrificed big time to ensure that their spouses and children prosper within the marriage – so that they both can build a family together and have security and a legacy to pass down through the generations.
Having said what I have said, I would again get married, but this time I would certainly want to see that I am being cherished, loved, protected and respected. Becuase of my excellent childhood role models, I thought all men were like Pops or Granddad. Sadly, how men and women have trained each other (to simply use one another sexually and disregard goodness one another as weak and outmoded), in addition to the inception of the feminist mindset courtesy of ghouls like Gloria Steinem and her ilk, has resulted in many “good” girls not even having a chance to get married or re-married or procreate and be loving wives and mothers.
Gloria Steinem and Hugh Hefner should be sued for their role in co-opting the minds of the young and helping break the wholesomeness and goodness of society and the male-female dynamic of courtship, marriage, children and a life lived together in accordance with the logical and socially necessary guidelines of the Ten Commandments – (which are just common sense – not religious tenets at all).
