Ask Dr. Helen: Do Husbands Owe Wives Post-Childbirth ‘Push Presents?’
Oh, I’ve heard of “push presents,” but not by that derisive name. I think this arises from a marketing ploy. There will always be somebody trying to persuade people to give a gift for special occasions, particularly purveyors of luxury goods, such as flowers, diamonds, and candy. I think the use of the term “push presents” gives a real clear clue to the wife’s underlying attitude in this case.
I never got any particular present in exchange for my sons, well, not if you don’t count the fixed-up room, the furniture, the clothes, the babysitters, the help with the diapers and laundry and housecleaning, and the leers at whatever body parts happened to be in good condition at the moment. Of course, there was also the college fund for each of them. And the work, let’s not forget the work. He’d come home grey with fatigue, and I’d hand him a baby, and I swear, I could see him pink up and inflate. That trick did my heart good, too.
There’s a dirty little secret that purveyors of luxury goods would rather ignore: luxury goods are by definition things you don’t need. Without the gifts of love and forbearance, courtesy and support, presents give little satisfaction. With those gifts, the satisfaction is already there. With the gifts, a present is a nice touch that a woman will appreciate and brag about to her friends for a long time.
