Mary,
I did not read McDonald’s article, only yours. In the last 30 years the issue of date rape has been made a larger feminist issue as espoused by commenter mylai. In order to increase funding for women’s causes the issue of date rape has been mythically increased by claiming that rape only occurs to the female when she is drunk and has not forcefully repulsed the male. The fact is that many young men have been accused and had the lives ruined by females that failed to use restraint and got drunk and allowed themselves to have sex. You have indicated that most women do not charge rape when they have had bad or drunken sex. Despite what you state, that does not change that many feminist groups do use the inflated numbers of date rape to get time, money and attention to their causes.
You seem to be upset at the standard that man are not called lechers when they are promiscuous. Women are called sluts or tramps when they are promiscuous. The fact is that man and women view sex differently. Young men think about sex all the time. Women tend to think about romance and not just lustful sexual thoughts. Women throughout history had control over society and over men’s behavior and acceptance in society. Women have really been the civilizing force over men. The methods have usually been over control over sex. Restraints of sexual favors by women are used to make men do certain things that women want. Withholding sex by women the men are often forced into offering marriage with legal agreements that make sure the women is protected from loss, due to her having children and getting older. Those protections are child support and alimony.
When women fail to use restraint by allowing themselves to have sex without forethought or agreements as to fidelity, then women generally feel diminished or cheap. That is their own self-inflicted opinion of themselves. Men rarely feel bad about sex, however it comes to them. You seem to be upset that women and men feel differently about sex.
So why the concern that the men who are promiscuous are not called lechers? Well if women refused to have sex with these men then maybe the social opprobrium would work and men would restrain themselves. Why should a male who wants sex anyway he can get it feel bad if women foolishly allows themselves to give sex because they decided to get wasted?
The rape issue is really one sided. Men rarely accuse a woman of rape, they would feel ashamed if they made that accusation especially among their peers. Women who are really raped should not feel ashamed but angry. But that is not the reality,because rape is not only an assault but a humiliation and women feel they are degraded and been made dirty due to a real rape. The fact is that when women allow drunken sex they may feel stupid but not humiliated and ashamed. They chose to allow the act but was not forced against their will.
Women have all the control in normal sexual encounters they can deny or agree. If they want to be not called tramps then that is within their control.
