No argument about the double standard here. It exists and it’s not fair, but knowing how it works so as to avoid the sharp end isn’t the same as condoning it, is it? If sexually active women incur ugly judgments, so do men who want to work with children. There are plenty of sideways looks and unfair assumptions to go around, and if things go badly, plenty who’ll claim someone had no business being/doing whatever it was in the first place.
However, I think the issue specifically raised of sex resulting from willful intoxication is a little different than simply having lots of sex partners. It’s using one’s freedom to choose insensibility and loss of motor skills NOW in a way that can abdicate freedom of choice over one’s body later to whomever happens to be around and more capable of action. Perhaps it will be friends dragging someone home to bed with an aspirin and glass of water in reach. Perhaps not, especially if the friends are also too drunk for volition.
While people are drinking or using, they exaggerate, weep, fall in love, rage, giggle, have brilliant notions, break things, and we know they don’t genuinely intend any of it. The issues of “drunken sluts” and rape get so conflated because the issue of unwillingness is central to the definition, and it gets much harder to determine when people chemically abandon their usual temperaments and will.
