[i]their professors shielded them, lied to them, coddled them, and told them how goddamned precious and thoughtful they were, and here they are are in the big, bad world, and someone is contemptuously dismissing everything they hold dear in public.[/i]
Speaking as someone currently in grad school–not at all. At least my experience has been, professors do *not* “shield” or “coddle” you; instead they bounce back and forth between treating you as a drudge to do arduous and sometimes dangerous lab or research work they’re too important to do, tearing you apart for deviating from the line/theory they want you to parrot, and blowing you off for months despite insistent entreaties when all you’re asking for is their comments on the latest draft of your thesis/proposal/dissertation (without which you cannot advance in the program). They don’t treat you this way because you’re a woman (or a minority) but because you’re a grad student; it comes with the territory. Not all professors act this way, but quite a few do. It takes a robust ego to survive grad school intact (which may explain why so many of the ones who do make it are egomaniacs), and if she came in without a lot of confidence to start with, it’s not surprising she’d be beaten down to a little nub by the process.
[i]I think that’s about the particular man, the individual. The weakest and least secure men (usually ignorant, too boot) seem to need to find targets to bully or to patronize. And that target is frequently a woman. Or a pet. Or a child.
You shouldn’t take it personally or waste energy arguing with it. Just remove yourself from it. As far away from it you can get. [/i]
Agreed. It’s not just men, women do it too, and it *is* about being an insecure bully who needs to build themself up by tearing others down. I generally take tanstaafl’s suggested course; people who behave like this aren’t going to change, so simply leave them alone to argue with themselves. I agree Solnit’s comparison of the situation of women in modern America to the plight of women under the Taliban or fundamentalist Islamic rule is just ludicrous.
