The Obamas are let them eat cake types who want to bake the cakes for their underlings. Let’s see–you have a few extra inches around the waist. I think you need a tofu cake with a locally grown (as long as I don’t have to break my back picking it) organic spinach topping. We want to be pround of America, and your BMI is embarrassing us. And don’t give us the line that you want Grandma’s devils food cake for your birthday. Don’t you know that that name is hurtful?
And while we are at it, we need to talk about that religion thing. How dare you attend church because it gives meaning to your lives I don’t care if three generations of your family were baptized, married, and buried with the blessings of its congregation. I don’t care if the ladies of the church brought casseroles for your family after you had that tumor removed. You have to get over your bitterness and join a church that gives you street creds.
You are lazy. Do you really think this country needs people to deliver mail, fix cars, stack shelves at Walmart, monitor vital signs in the ambulance, choose books for the local library, install new floors in bathrooms? What we need are more professors of ethnic studies and women’s studies and more government agencies supported by a tax code that ensures full employment for CPAs. We need more activists who burn houses of folks that don’t take animal rights seriously. We don’t want you to be bitter; we want you to be mad–mad at the lousy country we live in. We are tired of having to apologize for you when we are trying to sell our America-basing books and movies abroad. We have our million dollar house to pay for and we want to hold our heads high as we do. Don’t make us feel guilty for our granite countertops. Shape up folks. I’ll show you how.
