Wow, there are a LOT of jaded men on here. I’m 29 and unmarried but I have many, many guy friends who have been married and divorced and I have to say the mistake they made was an error in discernment above anything else. They went for pretty or the girl society/the family/their friends expected them to be married to or any number of other fleeting qualities as the primary basis and that’s very simply a poor foundation for marriage. I will say that the “feminist” movement has certainly destroyed the fabric of cohesive successful families but that’s been evolving slowly and painfully since the early 60′s. Is there anyone who didn’t see all of this coming? That said, I would love to get married but it’s going to take an extraordinary woman and I use the word because my experience with women my age is that the ordinary, as in the average woman my age, has a mindset that they have no need for a man beyond the occasional (or not so occasional) “romp in the sack”. I’m certainly not going to marry a girl because she looks good on my arm or a girl who finds most of my value to her derived from my sexual performance. Sadly, I understand that I may never get married not because I’m against marriage, afraid of divorce or resentful of women in general but simply because I’m not sure there are enough women left who have the same view of the importance (and weight) of marriage and a cohesive family for me to find one. In short, part of the problem is that the mindset of women has changed but part of it is that men seem to lack good judgement when choosing a partner. I think both sexes have, to some degree, lost the meaning of marriage. It wasn’t so long ago that when marriages hit “rough spots” both people were willing to do everything in their power to work it out because of the respect they had for the institution but it seems (in most of my friend’s cases at least) that even when comparatively trivial difficulties arise, it’s easier to cash out and divorce then actually sack up and work through the problem. Yes I know that there are some issues that cannot be fixed (adultery would be on that list in my case) but I do think that divorce has become a way to escape facing the trials of marriage and if your the type to not even try working things out, marriage probably isn’t the best choice. It’s no suprise in my generation mostly because most of my generation’s parents never had a clear understanding of lifelong commitment and many of their marriages were disastrous. Again, the dilution of the core of marriage began 40-50 years ago so is it really so suprising that generation after generation loses its grip on it to the extent that we all find ourselves in the position we’re in now?
