I am an attorney who practices family law in New Jersey. I have also been divorced once and have remarried.
Should men get married? I give a qualified yes as an answer. Here are the qualifications:
1) Do not get married without a prenuptial agreement. And not just any pre-nup, either. This pre-nup should address every property settlement issue as if you were in a divorce proceeding. Special emphasis should be made on protecting your pre-marital assets, eliminating claims for alimony, and securing visitation rights with your children. Have your fiancee VIDEOTAPED being questioned about each term of the agreement, and expressing her voluntary consent. While a significant burden, this makes the agreement bullet-proof later in court. Ignore this recommendation at your own peril.
2) Marry Up. Alot of the horror stories you hear stem from women who try to milk all the marital assets in a divorce, because they want to live off you post marriage for the rest of their lives. Avoid women who are too dependent and needy economically. The more she makes than you, the better. Remember the old adage of our grandparents’ generation: It is just as easy to fall in love with a rich person as a poor one.
3) Don’t marry an American. This sounds facetious, but the idea is to find a woman who has not been marinated in Feminazi Ideology. This will eliminate most American educated women. Better for you to find a girl who was home schooled or from a culture which at least respects the Manly Virtues, such as most Asian cultures. This is NOT a prescription to go get yourself a mail-order bride, however. Such foriegners are just as problematic, as they are usually desperately poor and will end up viewing you as both their meal ticket and their path to citizenship.
This is hard learned wisdom for me, as I first married lower (economically) and a typical pushy American girl who entered the marriage relationship viewing it as a power struggle. When I remarried, it was someone more successful than myself, and while she is an American citizen, she grew up in China. We have been happily married for ten years and have two children.
Which brings me to why I answered “yes” at all: Ultimately, most healthy, normal men will only find true happiness in a good marriage, and in the joy that raising children brings. While expensive cars, electronics, clothes, and vacations are nice, you don’t want to find yourself alone when you reach, say, 50. For most people, a life devoid of family and children ultimately leaves one with a hole in their soul. That is the great tragedy of what the Leftist assault on marriage has meant for the average person: Misery, impovershment, and lonliness.
