I’m coming over to your side. I’ve seen the light and i want to know . . . What the hell is the world coming to:
Stormy Daniels running against David Vitter, and I like her chances..
A Zogby poll, commissioned by the conservative-leaning O’Leary Report, surveyed 3,937 voters and found 52 percent in favor of legalizing pot. Only 37 percent opposed.
Sarah Palin is no longer the most popular governor in the country. That title now belongs to Connecticut Republican Governor M. Jodi Rell. Sarah Palin is no longer the most popular politician in Alaska. Senator Lisa Murkowski is.
President Obama isn’t pandering to the Christian conservatives on this National Day of Prayer- a hallowed tradition that goes back to our founding fathers (at least the ones born in 1952).
Our Holy Father, Rupert Murdoch, saw operating profits at Fox News’ television segment, which includes its Fox broadcast network, plunge 99 percent last quarter, while operating profits at his newspaper division fall 97 percent to $7 million from $216 million a year earlier.
And poor Carrie PreJean. After a nude photo surfaced, despite her signing a pageant release claiming she had never taken such photos, this paragon of virtue and principle was forced to write a letter stating, “I shouldn’t have taken the photo of me in my underwear. There are no other photos of me. This was the only one I took.” And now a second photo surfaces. STOP ATTACKING THIS PURE YOUNG FANTASY!
Worst of all, it’s been TWO WHOLE DAYS since a Republican has apologized to Rush! TWO DAYS! That, my friends, is simply unacceptable.
We can’t sit by and let the Democrats do this to our Grand Old (and I do mean old) Party. In fact, I’m forming a “Lark In” where we can all roll up to the Capitol in our powered scooters and demand a government that responds to OUR demands:
#1 – Stop this unholy War on Christmas!
#2 – Remove flouride from our drinking water and replace it with Metamucil.
#3 – Hire Chuck Pelto to create a database documenting the libertine lifestyle of all Democrats.
#4 – Introduce a bill in the House that makes Jack Bauer a real person.
#5 – Make Tea Parties national holidays.
#6 – Plant 5,000 Liberty Trees on Sean Hannity’s Long Island oceanfront estate.
#7 – Encase Rush Limbaugh in brass and copper to capture exactly the magnitude of his greatness.
#8 – Distribute to every Republican a copy of “Who’s Nailin Palin” just so we can see what we’re up against.
#9 – Shut down every university except the 700 Club School of Divinity.
#10 – Exhume our fearless leader DOUBLE R and put him on permanent display on the 50-yard line at the new Dallas Cowboys Stadium.
I’m sure there are more . . . ooh, wait, make a flag you can see from space . . . entice Mexicans to provide for their family by raking my lawn (wait, we already do that) . . . oh! Send Glenn Beck to Pakistan so he can bring back “a story so shocking it will make blood shoot out of our eyes.” And of course, put Ann Coulter at the top of the list for gender reassignment surgery. She’s waited long enough.
is that too much to ask?
