Pastor of Muppets: Your outright anger at us discussing what led to TeleBama’s election is indeed telling. Why so much gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands friend? You won remember? You are apparently not a member of the GOP, nor a moderate anything so why the angst when we’re discussing possible solutions? I’m guessing we’re hitting a bit too close to home. We’ve now read TeleBama’s playbook which in a nutshell reads: 1) Say anything to get elected. 2) Disclose no personal information and pray to God courts mindlessly back you up. 3) Feign indignity when someone points out obvious flaws in voting record. 4) Use Teleprompter at ALL COSTS. 5) Have VP running mate that is a buffoon and takes spotlight away from you when going gets tough. 6) Promise the world to the underprivileged to win vote and then apologize later. 7) PASS THE BUCK (this one is of utmost importance and a surefire winner). 
Use humor to deflect tough questions. 9) Claim to be green but use AirForce I if necessary for good photos for future campaigns. 10) Have surefire list of backpocket reporters to call on at “press conferences” and only answer questions containing the word “enchanting”.
Rahm is going to be so peeved when he finds out we’re on to his campaign winning recipe!
