One thing that tends to trip people up is that we don’t always recognize that money matters in ways beyond the obvious, because it reflects our _values_.
Often, very often, arguments about money are arguments by proxy between different priorities, different goals, different assumptions about what is and is not important.
That’s part of why sudden infusions of money, like large lottery wins, often have nasty effects on marriages. It’s why money arguments often crop up over and over and over, and can be so bitter.
For ex, if money represents _security_ to one partner, then spending seems foolish or threatening, and if the other partner sees money as _opportunity_ or _freedom_, then a conflict is brewing.
It’s really, really good advice for couples contemplating marriage to discuss their financial expectations _before_ they get married.
