Two checkbooks.
The husband’s goes to pay the mortgage/rent, utilities, taxes… keep lumping in stuff until you reach a point where the checkbook balance neither grows or is depleted on a monthly basis. The husband provides for the family. If he needs reinforcement that he is taking care of the family, let him write these bills.
The wife’s checkbook is for dining out, clothes, furniture, lump in the stuff that the husband’s check can’t cover. These are the things that you could presumably start to do without if things got tough. vacations, IRA’s, big screen tv’s and the cable bill. let the wife’s earnings generally provide for the fun stuff, and make decisions jointly on how it will be spent. I think men will generally encourage the wife to earn more if those are the funds that allow for a better quality of life rather than just the standard he provides.
Once it’s split like this, it is also easier to see what the ramifications of one spouse retiring or unable to work for other reasons, like raising kids or sickness.
