When we were first married I made FAR more than my wife. Like 10 times more. I “supported her” (if you want to call it that) all through her training.
Now I am a stay-at-home dad with part-time work and she’s a well-paid professional.
People who get their self-worth based on how much they make are screwed up to begin with. Comparing one’s income to that of one’s spouse as some method of oneupmanship is insane and a sure ticket to doom.
That advice cited above by MSN is utterly dumb as hell. I bet my left gonad it was written by someone who is divorced or single.
And people who rely on women’s magazines for insight into the male psyche are crazy already. Don’t hold your income or assets over someone’s head like a hammer, regardless of your gender. EVER. I am amazed this has to be pointed out.
Put all your money in one pot. ALL OF IT. Forget this “separate accounts/pay joint household expenses by percentage of income” crap. 55/45, 60/40. 62/38. What are you talking about, a few hundred a month? BFD. You are ONE ECONOMIC UNIT, probably taxed that way already, pulling the oars together, and you need to figure that out early on.
Let the person with the most aptitude or interest handle most of the bills and taxes. Not all, because that’s how one person can get blindsided. The “money person” should show the other what’s going on every few weeks (or on request) and explain the tax returns.
If one is a spendthrift, then adopt a rule (depending on your circumstances) like “Neither spends more than $20 or $50 or $100 or $400 on anything without mentioning it first.”
Any time someone utters the phrases (or holds the thought) “my money” or “your money” or “our money” there is already a problem.
Setting little traps and surprises or holding resentments for your spouse over money or anything else is utterly, absolutely, completely mad. Frankly, I think it’s the “women’s movement” that is responsible for most of this crap.
But what the hell do I know? We’ve only been together for 25 years and never more in love and we have NEVER had a disagreement, let alone an argument, about money.
