Here is something I can speak to. Many of these answers are naiive and the question is ill posed.
I earn a barely six figure salary, my wife earns a mid six figure salary. It seems to work like this. I have an instinctive belief that all of my money goes into a shared pot for the family. I would believe this even if I was the one earning the big bucks.
My wife believes this too. That my money should go 100% into the pot for household expenses. But somehow she believes that the extra money she earns is hers. And before you go jumping on either one of us, think about how both of our attitudes come from our expectations, and evolutionary needs as a sex.
This has caused huge friction between us, because the way she earns her money gives her complete control of it, and she can release it into the household budget in dribs and drabs, usually right about the time she thinks of some big ticket item she wants.
My advice to a woman in this lady’s postion? If you don’t want to breed resentment over time, your money goes into a shared pot. You make the decisions about it together. Each of you has an allowance that is equal, based on discretionary income, and neither, ever, makes a comment on what that money is spent on. By the way, gifts to each other from this fund actually mean something.
