My husband is uber depressed. He takes too much on himself over our finances but he also had his day in the selfish ‘sun’. I’m angry at him and forgiving but the harboring anger resides within me.
When times were ‘good’, my husband abandoned his/my daughter and I for his dream of being a ‘rock-star’ and when that grew stale he wanted to be a ‘golf-star’ all the while my daughter and I were lonely, sad and feeling the pain of abandonment I knew all too well.
My husband and I were attracted to each other about music first. I am the singer/songwriter…he the base/lead guitarist.
I wanted to have a child with him and he ‘obliged’ and after 2 months of ‘trying’ I conceived my wonderful daughter.
As my daughter grew up, I continued writing songs…sometimes I’d wake up with songs blaring in my head and I’d have to quickly write them down. Hubby and I decided to record some of our songs in an ‘official’ song recording studio and send our songs ‘out’ to song publishers.
LUCKY?
We were ‘signed’ but there was one glitch…the guy who wanted to sign us wanted me to sing my songs like I sange them on the tapes. Well, my daughter was just 5 years old and I was intent on home-schooling her and the idea of trying to make my own fame and fortune was a no GO. Needless to say…our Do I regret my decision? NOT ONE FREAKING DAY.
I’m just not a “ME ME ME ME ME ME MEEEEEEEEEEE” person, yaknow? Yeah, I’m talented but so freakin’ what? In the big scheme of things, I’m just fortunate to be alive and in the HERE and now with the gifts god has given me.
Did I digress? Yikes.
In closing, Helen…
My blues, my aches, my fears, my pains, my hardships are part of the human experience. Giving birth was pain that finally gave release from pain for life…death will be agony giving up life from pain.
We are mere mortals.
-But, Angels are with us too.
Always. 
Oops…forgot to say great post! Looking forward to your next one.
