one of my own,
Let me help you out-
Let’s take your post 74. “treading on you” is OK – it directly plays off of my handle. “You’re an idiot. I get it” Rhythm and quick cadence – decent effort. The reader should respond to this.
“Sebastian didn’t provide a backstop.” Actually, he did. Exaggerating is certainly fine – lying is not fine. Credibility issue here. “Somebody else did. And when he did..” The “he” is me, yes? Why the perspective switch? The post directly addressed me at the beginning. Next time, look the bull in the eye. “As to Beavis & Butthead jerkfest..” This is the metaphor/analogy issue I mentioned above. It has no reference point, which a reader will notice immediately. “It sounds like an anecdote than a joke..” This is a bit vague. My posts generally contain more than one “joke,” so a little specificity would enhance this final retort.
I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions.
