Without an apology, the person we’ve offended is left wondering whether we understand that what we did is wrong, and whether we’ll do it again the next chance we get. A simple “I was wrong” works wonders to get you both back on track.
C.S. Lewis cautions us not to confuse forgiveness with pretending the wrong never occurred, or even pretending the person who lied to us, for instance, is not a habitual liar. Forgiveness is letting go of the desire for revenge. It may remain obvious to us that the offender is dangerous. But if the offender apologizes in a way to convince us that he really regrets what he did and is unlikely to do it again (especially with that painful memory to enforce his decision), then we may be able not only to let go of the desire to get our own back but also to move on into a renewed loving relationship. The first kind of forgiveness doesn’t require an apology; the second generally does.
