I think part of the problem lies with one of Ms. Kymowitz’s assumptions, an assumption that Doctor Helen did not question. Namely, that in order to be “an adult” you have to do certain things. Maturity is not a matter of taking responsibility for your life and the choices you make. No, maturity is watching the “right” movies (There Will Be Blood instead of Transformers) and doing the “right” things (going to the opera instead of playing World of Warcraft).
By Ms. Hymowitz’s standards, both my husband and I are rankly immature. Sure we’ve been married fourteen years and he’s in charge of a $100 million dollar budget at work. But we play video games and we’ll both take giant monsters and battling cyborgs over Syriana any day of the week.
Does that make us immature? No. It means we do what we like, whether people approve or not. Maturity is not caving in to what society expects. It’s doing what you want and accepting the consequences of those choices.
There may be reasons why fewer men wish to marry today — but if so, that’s a separate issue from maturity. If more guys are enjoying life, instead of doing what they’re told will “make them men”, bully for them. That doesn’t make them immature.
