A few thoughts from a former YSM, now a fifty yo man, never married, probably never will.
I have half-sisters who perfectly fit the description of angry women who use Police and Family courts to punish their ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, landlords, etc. I have an ex-Brothers-in-Law who was forced to pay support for a child that is obviously not his, a literal red-headed stepchild that cost him $600 a month for seventeen years. That’s $122,400. It sure helped his ex-wife to support her red-headed boyfriend.
Marriage today is high risk and low reward. It’s a high risk investment when you stand to lose a lot more than you can gain. And most of the gains: companionship, friendship, sex; they’re readily available without marriage. Marriage today is like gambling when you know the game is rigged against you.
A lot of women live for today and give no thought for the future until it’s too late. Think of Aesop’s story of the Ants and Grasshopper. ”Girls just wanna have fun.” Women love the Bad Boys and despise Nice Guys. Bad Boys are exciting and fun. Bad Boys are a challenge. But when the women get pregnant or lose their looks they want a Nice Guy to support them. Speaking as a former Nice Guy, why should I spend the next twenty years raising the Bad Boy’s children? That’s an enormous cost just for companionship or sex. A lot of the women out there are single parents desperately looking for a man to support them. And pay off their credit cards!
And despite all that, I might marry if there was some reliable way to tell the difference between a woman who loves me for myself versus the woman who wants to marry, not me, but my house and salary and future income. But there is no such thing, that’s why marriage is a huge gamble.
