I was married at 20 years of age and still a sophmore in college. 14 years and two children later I am still madly in love with my wife.
None of this happened by accident though. Our courtship lasted 4 years over a distance of 600 miles before the days of e-mails, cell-phones, and instant messengers. No sex either.
Women want this big commitment, but they expect it to be all about the man. When my wife and I were married, we were looking at a future, one that we could clearly see. It has had its ups and downs, but from the start we could actually envision a life together.
A woman who puts up with a man for years, services his sexual needs, and then continues to be in a relationship with him even though he shows no interest in marriage? The message she is sending the man is that he can have his cake and eat it to. I don’t blame the man here either, he’s got it pretty good and a woman who is perpetually waiting on that proposal obviously doesn’t think highly enough of herself to ditch him and find someone who will appreciate her.
Or maybe she’s not all what she thinks she is. Whatever.
The point is, I wouldn’t be with a woman who I couldn’t picture a long-term future with. Marriages end in divorce so often because people confuse sex with love or think they should do it because they’ve been together so long. Sex is sex and love is love and we really need to quit getting the two mixed up.
Maybe we do act like adolescents, but because the benefits of marriage are so low and women continue to put up with it and just complain we have no reason to change. I love my wife dearly, if she had come to me while we were dating and said she was tired of waiting for me to propose and she was thinking of ending the relationship I would have jumped into action. Some other girls I dated before her (granted, I was pretty young) I would have simply let them go. My wife is a blessing to me. Some of my other girlfriends, while fun, would have simply drug me down in the long term.
I may have been married most of my adult life, but even I can figure out why so many of my contemporaries are still single. I think I may be the exception that proves the rule.
