I can somewhat sympathize with the LW’s plight, in so far that being “afraid” of women can truly be the death knell for any hopes of ever finding love. I’m 28 and have Facioscapulohumeral Muscular Dystrophy, which is “the best kind” of MDs to have. It affects the upper body and is non life threatening. During my high school years, I was completely terrified of women and thought there was NO way I could ever even hope to be with a woman. I was so shy I couldn’t even make eye contact.
But, at 19 I met a girl and she didn’t see the MD she saw me. Which I found was not bad and not ugly and certainly capable of being with a woman and having a satisfying relationship. In the nearly ten years since I’ve been with several women, I would say I am a serial monogamist. I’m certainly not a lothario, but I would never wish to be either. Outside of MD I’m a normal looking chap, I wouldn’t say I’m the belle of the ball, but I’m not horrible either. But, those things aren’t important, really. Not to the women I like, anyway.
Which is my point. Know what type of woman you like. I find the blonde bombshell look distasteful and am attracted to the more artsy and intellectual type of woman. If I focused on some idealized version of a woman, I’d probably be very disappointed too, but don’t think that way. If you expect women to look past your physical flaws you should be able to do the same and women have many of the same self doubts and worries as you do.
Don’t be afraid to be you. Be funny, thoughtful and witty. Yes, as someone said above, above all be confident in who you are and what you say. It’s always worked for me and if it can for me, as someone with MD, it can work for most anyone.
