I can’t believe so many of these comments seem to be of the “it’s not the most important thing in life” variety. That’s so easy for someone who doesn’t have to live with frustration 24/7 and the possibility that one might die without performing a necessary biological function.
I remember the worst night of my virginal life at 26. A very heavy storm was keeping me awake enough to hear the very hot chick in the apartment next door (whom I lusted for) moaning and squealing with delight in congress with her boyfriend.
Several months later she moved out and a cute but unremarkable girl moved in. She decided I was going to be her boyfriend, and when I bought a house across town, she celebrated the occasion by taking my virginity away-ten days after my 27th birthday. Not that things changed otherwise. At a political event a year later, during a conversation with a girl I just met there I mentioned my relationship, to which she responded: “YOU have a girlfriend??”
It lasted two years, ending because of her health problems. I had hoped that I could make a quick recovery, but not was not to be, and I lived in the wilderness for sixteen years, interrupted briefly by an affair with a married woman at work.
Jim Rockford said:
I would disagree with Marion and say evidence shows that she is quite wrong. Dalrymple’s “Life at the Bottom” shows working-class women in Britain DO NOT like thoughtful guys, but rather the most hyper-macho.
During those years I tried hard, with little to show for it but humiliation. Jim Rockford is right, as I discovered. Blue-collar women want tall guys with brawny frames, and are not impressed by intellectual or career accomplishment. I got it from both ends: unless you toe the line on every excruciating detail in current fashions in feminist theory, you can forget about getting any from yuppie women either.
Jack said:
When I was in college, grad school, etc, people always told me that I just have to wait until I’m older, and then the women will be flocking to a smart, stable guy with a good career like me. Well, I’ve waited, and I haven’t seen much flocking yet.
I used to think that way too. I had a good job, owned my own home, had a graduate degree, didn’t use drugs-all the things the fems say they want.
Problem is they could have those things too without a man. Once again, I got it from both ends: they were competing with me every step of the way for jobs, and thus pushing up the price of entry into the sexual marketplace.
By the time I got married at 46, I had been working for a company for eleven years, but the snickering behind my back continued-especially among the women there: “Good grief, who would be desperate enough to marry HIM??” When we moved to a different city for a new job, I met a single woman of about my age from my home town on the bus to work. I told her about being recent married, and my wife’s pregnancy. She just bit her lip, feeling sorry for ME: “But what about your freedom?”
We’ve been married ten years and going strong because we’re both dweebs who found each other and we know it. Here no one has ever known me as anything other than a husband and daddy, and it really makes a difference. I actually like my job and the people I work with, and have acceded to a community leadership position.
My regret is that I wasn’t lucky enough to have this happen earlier in my life. My wife is 50 with the body of a 20-year old. Dammit, why couldn’t I get to it when it WAS 20 years old? Why couldn’t I get to it when I had the stamina to be experimental instead of barely being able to perform?
The best advice I can give is to avoid the mistakes I made, namely, not to make the effort. If you are a beta like me, you will not be able to be a player and have to settle. Just make sure your expectations are realistic and are comparable to what you offer, look everywhere, and have a thick skin to put up with the humiliation.
There are no guarantees in life of a happy ending, but the more lottery tickets you buy at least increases your odds. Go look everywhere and spend as much time as it’s worth to you.
By the way, I suppose this is about as un-PC as one can get, but as a member of The Tribe myself, I’d be willing to bet about 60-70% of middle-age virgin males are Jewish.
