Curly, you’ve polluted your lexicon there a bit. To ‘deny’ does not imply lying at all. It merely means to ‘say no to’. The implication of it being lying is a bit of psychobabble. Similarly, if you read earlier English you will find the word ‘Pretence/Pretense’ does not imply ‘falsehood’ but instead refers to ‘what is put forth’ as an observation without implying a judgment on its truth or falsehood. The same goes for ‘deny’. To ‘be in denial’ is different than ‘to deny’. To say, “so and so denies involvement with group x” is a perception, not a judgment. It does not imply that so and so is lying about his involvement.
So, the statement does not say, ‘These men are asexual, they are in denial about their interest in sex.’
It takes their denial for its face value. You make the judgment on whether or not it is genuine.
As for the topic, men have different conditions on which they are ready for a real relationship. Having sex is not a real relationship. Just ‘getting laid’ is based more on animal qualities; confidence, virility, power, attractiveness, and so on. They are for the most part ‘have or have nots’. If you’re not born beautiful, you’re not going to be beautiful.
Real relationships are not based on (but are affected by, I would say) those things. If you’re talking about a real connection, it seems to me that a man needs to be in a particular place before he feels ‘ready’ for that kind of commitment. I think in all cases these men should decide whether they are in it for the sex or want a real connection. If they want a real connection it is a different set of qualifications; if it is to have sex then if you do not have the ‘qualifications’ it comes down to ‘tricking’ a woman into having sex with you. That’s a hard truth, but difficulty makes it no less true.
I would say the ideal is to have the real connection and then the sex only if you have it. There’s no reason to feel guilty or inadequate because you haven’t had the sex; while you may not have had the pleasure or fun of it, you also don’t need to experience the pain of sexual alienation.
If a man is whole unto himself, he will match with the appropriate woman. If she comes late, she comes late. Some times its a blessing in disguise because we needed to work through a bunch of crap before we were ready.
