Gosh it makes me so angry, these politically correct police. They’re fascists, man. They want to control our minds. But I’m an independent thinking American, no one can tell me what to say. That’s right. I’m so durned free and independent, and I know I am because I listen to Michael Savage and watch Fox News, and them folks says it like it is. They don’t tell me to speak politically-correct. Nosirree. They just remind me that the liberals want to enslave me, and so even though I work a 65 hour a week job in a factory in Kentucky and can’t afford health insurance, at least I can hold my head up ‘n say, “I’m an American, by gum, and if’n I want to say ‘niggardly’ I can! So I’m gonna vote Republican. Sure, I won’t have any worker’s rights, I’ll have no medical insurance ‘n probably die young cuz now I can’t declare bankruptcy anymore. But I can say ‘niggardly’ and there ain’t a damn thing those liberal communists can do about it. Yee-haw! I’m free! Look’t me, pa, I’m free! Niggardly niggardly niggardly!” (Cough! Cough! Cough!) Damn, I’d keep saying it but I have this pneumonia thing, and I can’t afford the medicine…Oops, boss is screaming at me to get back to work or he’ll replace me with a temp. Liberal elitists remember my message and the message of the American people: you can stop me from saying ‘niggardly’ when you pull those words from my pneumatic water-filled desperately-in-need-of-medical-attention-but-can’t-afford-it-because-I-vote-Republican lungs, y’hear?”
