Managing expectation is the name of the game, as you can see in so many responses. The problem lies in that part of humanity that thinks if you never ask the question, you don’t have to know the answer. We all have that inside of us.
Remember that you are looking for a partner, not a slave. It is not their responsibility to make you happy, even though they will probably actually TRY to make that happen. You are not flip sides of a coin, you are two different coins… together, you make something larger. You can call it a partnership, or a unit, or commonly a family. The key is to put forth effort in building and keeping that unit. If one person always takes, and the other always gives, suddenly you arent a unit anymore.
The talk about expectations is very important, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT!
Don’t LIE about it.
Just to placate or get what you want. If you are planning to quit working and have kids, and never go back to work, you should communicate that. Not only to him, but to yourself.
For the most part, men have no option but to work their whole lives. Nobody asks us if we would like to stay home and raise the kids. It works out because many guys aren’t interested in doing that anyway. However. It doesn’t hurt to acknowledge the fact. As a generalization, men don’t need flowers, or chocolates, or a hallmark gift for sweetest day. The simple thank you, can reverberate in the mind for a very long time.
The bottom line is yes, virginia, get married. But go in with your eyes open, not only to him, but also yourself.
The thread running through the comments is about change, I believe, and there is an old saw about it:
Men get married hoping the woman won’t change herself.
Women get married assuming the man will change himself for her.
Both are wrong since everyone changes regardless. The difference is in how you accept this fact…
