“Don’t let sex drive the relationship. Let the relationship, um, drive the sex.”
Well, IBBill is sort of right, but I would put it differently, because this is, as Sofasleeper seems to understand, the are where women have the most clear and obvious power. In most marriages, there is a clear libido mismatch; most of the time (something like >70%) the husband is unhappy with how it has turned out.
Wife, if you want a happy marriage, don’t have sex only when you feel like it. If that is your idea, taught by all 1970′s feminist euthenic literature, you will be miserable, your husband will be more miserable, and you will likely also end up divorced. You ain’t gonna feel like it when he does unless you are one of the small minority of wives. Find out what he expects BEFORE getting married, and decide whether you can handle it- if you can’t, don’t kid yourself that it will work out anyway; instead, don’t get married, period.
And feel free to extract your own form of consideration- you are making a promise that doesn’t match your natural inclinations, it is only fair that he should reciprocate. If you want pedicures three times a week just before fooling around, demand it.
In fact, better yet, execute a pre-nup that explicitly addresses money, sex, and power. And then, after you have signed it, every time there is a fight, go back and read it, and see who is in breach.
