The idea that hooking up leads to a better idea of who you are, let alone gives you any idea about who other people are, is silly.
If you’re a woman, hooking up denies you the chance to build a relationship based on trust, common values, or anything deeper than immediate chemistry before you’ve become emotionally attached. That’s because the sexual component, the spending nights together regardless of specific sexual activity, and disproportionate time behaving like a “couple” without actually building towards joint decision makes most women feel deeply for the person in question. This is confusing, because it means the woman feels attached but never gets anywhere near knowing “the type of person” this partner is. All she knows is if he likes Thai food.
And she won’t have tried out many types at all. She’ll have tried out one type, repeatedly: someone who thinks she’s disposable. That person comes in white, black, brown, american, french, indian, spanish, korean, and every other nationality. But it won’t have taught her anything about who someone is.
But worse, it confuses most women, leading them to wonder why they aren’t being loved in return as they love, often times leading them to misery and depression when they do try to “appreciate” hooking up without getting “Attached”, and even more, leads them away from self respect. Wanting intimacy and companionship is healthy. Substituting a warm body at night isn’t.
That daughter on her way home may think she’s dating. But she’s not. Dates respected you. Or at least, pretended to do so.
