Daddy Nobucks: When Involuntary Fathers Are Forced to Foot The Bill
What I’ve seen personally of the child support system and the behavior of at least half of the women I’ve known over the years makes me want to keep it in my pants forever. Granted, a lot of deadbeat dads deserve what they get, but I’ve seen too many good guys get screwed to really believe the system works. It wouldn’t be so bad, but the system is apparently stacked in favor of not letting the man act on his responsibilities.
Take, for example, my uncle. He got married just before being shipped to Vietnam. Got his wife pregnant before he left. Upon his return, she divorces him; telling him point-blank that she only married him for the life insurance payout she would inevitably get for him getting KIA. She gets the divorce on the grounds he beat her the entire duration of the marriage. Child support ensues and he is ordered to have no contact with his daughter (he’s infantry, therefore a killer, and he beats his wife magically over thousands of miles of separation), despite wanting to help raise her. The ex-aunt uses my cousin as a pawn to try to get him in trouble throughout the next 8 or so years by dropping her off at my uncle’s house at random, often while he’s at work. After it became obvious he would follow the law and call the social worker and police every time this happened, she stopped and we don’t know what happened to my cousin to this day. All attempts to get joint custody were denied because of the cross-world beatings.
My godfather had a child with his ex also. His military duties kept him bouncing around the nation so direct contact was limited, but he kept in touch with his son by phone and mail and paid above and beyond what he was supposed to because he thought it the right thing to do. The ex-wife sued him shortly before he died for back child-support after their son was over 20. Court defacto finds in her favor because he doesn’t show up (he had cancer treatments where he lived on the other side of the nation), despite the fact that the military automatically garnishes wages for child support and sends it.
This one doesn’t fall into the wanting to be a father to the child category, but further shows me it’s bad news to get too seriously involved with anyone: a buddy whose fiancee at the time gets knocked up. He’s very devout, and was thus waiting until his wedding night for his first time. Turns out the fiancee was being ridden about as often as the Sydney Harbor Ferry by nearly everyone but him. He’s stuck working two jobs to pay child support for a child that isn’t even his, while she doesn’t work (she mooches off her current sugar-daddy) and continues whoring around the clubs. Last time any of the crew saw her she was on child 3 and male money-target number 5.
