OK, guys. I’ve been happily married for over twelve years and now we have a 10-month-old. Between the time we said “I DO” until now, we have seen the best and the worst marriage could offer, at least from the experiences of those around us.
Nobody said to us it was going to be easy to stay together. Yet, we were told, and I repeat, “Compared to marriage, divorce IS expensive.” For that reason, we both had to be absolutely sure before taking that jump, and never look back.
I want to tell the guys who have been through it: I feel for all of you. I wish you never, ever had to go through it. To have your life and your children ripped out of you is like having both arms and legs amputated.
In fact, my poor brother is a member of your club. He doesn’t make that much money as a police officer (Whoever said to go into the NYPD to make money flat-out lied), but he got literally taken to the cleaners during his divorce. He didn’t own a lot of assets: his now ex-wife had COMPLETE control of the purse strings, until he decided to take a little bit of control out of her, at the advice of his cop friends. What happened next was a can of worms: any money he saved on the joint accounts was locked away from him. Everything he saved – gone! And you wouldn’t guess it from the story, but she makes A LOT more money than he does! Now, he lives in a co-op apartment that he was able to buy, with my mother’s help. (!) He has been so shaken by the experience, that he has vowed never to marry again. And I don’t blame him.
And my poor niece is paying the price.
One more thing: I’m still in speaking terms with his ex-wife. I visited her last April and found out, during one of our conversations, that the house she so comfortable lives in – in an upper-mid class section of Nassau Co, no less – is soaking her out of so much money in property taxes, plus her home insurance co. won’t renew her wind/storm/hail coverage because it is within the danger zone. She may have to move out of there and find a cheaper place to live.
There’s one word that applies here: karma.
