I am a 28y/o man. I am a virgin (seriously, by choice.) And I want to be a father. When I am being honest with myself, I realize that I prolly won’t get to be one. I think on the matter a lot because being a father means a lot to me, but I see hope slipping by faster then the years.
So, now that I have given my background, I’ll say what I have to say. First, to those who say that equating marriage to money is the cause of bad marriages, marriage, is an economic institution. If it was just about love, there would be no need for marriage; people would be happy being with one another, and would love the other person enough to let them go freely in the event that love stopped being mutual. Marriage is about combining resources. Originally, marriage was solely for the purpose of children, and the laws regarding what the marriage contract entailed, reflected as much. A man could divorce a woman in case of infertility or infidelity (the infidelity on a woman’s part meant that any children she had may not have been his.) A woman could not divorce the man because that would represent a breach of contract that she could not repay. So, by this convention society was able to convince men to apply their earning powers to the creation and development of the next generation, and give women a support system by which they could afford to have and raise children. Obviously, the system was not perfect, but, honestly, humanity is still growing up, and as history marches on people really do, by-n-large move towards freedom. The advantages that the system gained the societies that followed it were sufficient that societies that didn’t fell by the wayside.
As society started growing in wealth the need to make children stopped being all consuming and marriages for other reasons began to be more prevalent. But, society is slow to change its institutions and the rules by which they operate. What I feel that what we are seeing today is the disconnect between that fact that we can now leave the meaning of the marriage contract to those individuals who choose to engage in them, and societies willingness to let those individuals have enjoy the right of self determination. So, we find other people defining for us the meaning of marriage, and hence the injustices of that come from such. What is particular damning about marriage right now is that the contract isn’t static. The rules, by which I marry today, are not the rules by which I will live be tomorrow.
Second, my own personal experiences. There are two major hindrances to me becoming a father. The first is the legal system. It basically means that if I roll the dice and lose, I am going to lose big. Sadly, I don’t see the rewards being greater then the risks. The today’s inequities in the marriage laws have been beat over the head fairly well here, so I won’t beat a dead horse.
But, the second factor in the problem is women themselves. They have turned out be a pretty big disappointment. Self obsessed. Shallow. Lacking honor. Irresponsible. And dare I say it, Sluts. I have heard them referred to as the Young Independent Women and they take their cues from “Sex and the City”. Live your life now while you are young, don’t worry about tomorrow. They would rather blow their money on the latest hand bag. They date serially or just ‘hook up’. When you ask them about what they intend to do about retirement they will often get pissed off. They expect the government to solve any problems they have. Basically, they are women who I don’t even want to trust with my penis let alone my children. Having lived overseas for a number of years, I don’t see that as being much of an option either. Japanese women are WAY to submissive to be interesting. Philippina’s demand I pay for their family. The Muslims want me to convert (I am an agnostic.)
*Shrugs* I guess I was unlucky enough to be born in the wrong era. Boohoo. In the end we all must play with the cards dealt and I have decided to stay optimistic while preparing for the possibility of not. Personally, I am considering surrogacy and single parenthood.
