Hmm. In reading through this thread, I notice a trend, and that is people who are not surrounded by successful marriages.
I’m not just talking about long-term marriages, I’m talking about happy long term marriages.
I’ve been married for six years, and expect to be married for the rest of our lives… which isn’t surprising, considering my parents have been married for 40+ years, and his parents were married for 40+ years before his father died, and my siblings have all been married for the long term (and apparently, the fact that my parents are happily married is a huge draw for children of divorce.)
My friends are all in happy marriages, and nobody seems to be speaking of divorce, or of the stresses that you usually see before divorce.
What is my advice, then? Men, if you want to get married, look at the girl’s family and community. If it’s full of long-term, happy marriages, then that’s what she’s had as role models. She’s a good prospect.
And it’s even better if her community and church offer such things as marriage counseling, and voluntary married retreats, because then she has probably been exposed to the fact that good marriages need work. After all, I grew up with the idea that marriage is a promise and a task, and chose my husband accordingly. He’s the sort of friend I’d always want to be with, and someone who is going to support me as I support him.
