John wrote:
“Why is it that 70% OF ALL DIVORCES are instigated by the ones who are supposed to crave commitment?” Yes that is hard to explain. I really don’t mean to be insulting, but it is so off center I’m suspicious of it. Do you remember where the 70% came from? Statistics can be deceiving sometimes.
Jim: Really liked your post. Also speaks volumes for your character that you don’t “need” all the trappings of wealth that you could have. Best of luck to you. (Are you an engineer?)
Divorce laws are different from state to state. I know in my tri-state area the stories I hear are of assets split, retirement split and child support, but not much alimony (and temporary at that). In even the most fair divorce, everyone’s lifestyle will take a hit, even if both are working equivalent jobs, since two homes cost more than one, and the lawyer takes a cut (size usually dependent upon the nastiness of the divorce). If only one is working, having enough money for both to live on their own may be nearly impossible. This is just math. Unfortunate, but still just math.
Most of the horror stories I hear are from women. Maybe men tend to tell their own horror stories more to men. As long as judges are people, there will be unfairness and horror stories. But is it really as pervasive as these posts make it sound? Could it be that since on average everyone takes a hit in their lifestyle through a divorce, that most people feel wronged even if they aren’t?
I also wonder if there’s ever been a decent study done on the number of women beaten who say nothing out of fear of being killed, the number of women actually killed by their spouses, and the number of men who have to spend a night in jail to get before a judge due to a lying wife. And then, you’d have to compare the frequency of each to the magnitude of the hazard. For instance, how many nights in jail would be equal to one death. It just doesn’t strike me that either happens often enough, to basically decent people who don’t hit each other, to use as a reason to not get married. Not if you’re willing to risk you life on our highways.
