Dr. Helen,
Here’s the deal. Most women constantly re-invent reality in order to validate their emotional positions. Check out how often you hear guys say “she said X,” to which the woman will respond “I don’t remember what I said, and I shouldn’t have to, so I must have said Y.”
Men have many flaws, among which is the notion that men should be willing to be used for a meal ticket. The “social dominance” meme is totally misleading. Women despise a man they can dominate… a man who puts his foot down and says “not a chance” isn’t that creature. If the guy’s doing that in self-defense and she leaves, then guess what? Better now than fifteen years of misery later. There’s a reason men die early nowadays, and a lot of it has to do with stress trying to give women their perfect world.
But a loveless life stinks, too. So this isn’t about love. Is the legal institution stacked against men? Sure. It’s *all* stacked against men. But if you have kids with a single woman, you don’t get access to those kids if she leaves.
So my answer, with other guys in the audience, would be… want kids? If so, you’re going to have to roll the dice. Sure, the courts may rape you.. that’s what courts do. But a man who won’t risk for reward is hardly a man. And a GOOD marriage is one hell of a reward.
