I was married for nine years before my divorce, and I was with her for 4 years before that.
There was no cheating, no animosity. To be honest, she just wasn’t the right girl for me – although she was the one that asked me for a divorce. I got tired of her spending money and time on trying to find herself, so I stopped being interested in her. But I felt it necessary to stick to the marriage “contract”, at least until she was willing to break it.
I don’t think you have to view marriage as a sacred contract to stay married. I agree with those that said if you put her needs ahead of yours, and if she puts your needs ahead of hers, you will stay married.
I’m not going to shy away from marriage in the future, if I meet the right woman. I lost half of my assets in the divorce, and probably lost a good chunk more during the marriage itself. But it’s worth the risk for the right woman.
My advice would be don’t enter the marriage lightly. If you have doubts, there’s a good chance they won’t be resolved by the mere act of marriage. Used to be that married couples would work through their issues, because society was structured to support that practice. Now, society supports the “end it if it doesn’t feel right” practice.
The risk of loss in divorce really hasn’t changed; it’s just been readily quantified and monetarized by the courts. This just means that men must resist the urge to jump into marriage just to make their partner happy.
