First off, I’m not gonna claim to be an expert on this, since I’ve only been married three years. I’m a girl, too, so some of you might discount what I’m going to say based on that fact alone.
But the advice I would give my son (and any other kids me and my sweetie may be lucky enough to have someday…) is this:
When I married his dad, I sponsored him for his green card. One of the many pieces of paper I had to sign for this honor was one stating that I would reimburse the government for the next ten years for any welfare payments or benefits that he may be granted over the next ten years, or until he racked up 40 quarters of Social Security credit, even if we got divorced. If his bad behavior was the reason we got divorced, too bad…so sad…..pay up, dahlink.
I worked for a social service agency, so I knew exactly how much that could come to….and how damn long it would take for me to pay that off if the guvmint ever wanted to collect on that promise.
If you don’t think that you would be willing to sign such a pledge for your sweetie, don’t get married to him or her. You probably have a good reason why you wouldn’t, whether you are consciously aware of it or not. Forget the good looks, the great sex or the current earning situation. All of that can change in a heartbeat, but the person’s basic character remains.
