log cabin: Your comments made me think. My great concern with Prop 8 is what I mentioned in an earlier comment. You might be a very reasonable type and content to leave the churches alone if your marriage is recognized by the civil authorities. But we both know many gay activists would not be. It is very easy to foresee Joe and Nick, who are not content with a courthouse ceremony, or a Episcopalian one, suing for the right to be wed by a Catholic priest in a Catholic church. (Or a Baptist one, or a Mormon temple.) You know that that will happen and when it does, the media will once again present it as a case of the benighted Christofascists standing in the churchyard gate like George Wallace on the schoolyard steps.
People are upset because they believe the Bible does not condone homosexual acts (which is a far cry from believing gays should be tortured and killed and harassed and fired from their jobs) and the government will be used to force their churches to condone it.
I have another problem with it. I have known and worked with quite a few gay men and got along just fine with them. As they grew more comfortable around me and talked a bit more freely, I became rather uncomfortably aware of just how promiscious their lifestyle was. I could have gone through life just fine without knowing what a “glory hole” was. I was told that monogamy was for boring straight people and that gay men, even men in committed relationships, never expected sexual fidelity. (The case of Andrew Sullivan, who passionately wants to marry his boyfriend and yet posts ads for “barebacking” sex partners, seems to bear this out.) I understand that the situation is a bit different for lesbians.
Yes, hetrosexuals are unfaithful too, and there are straight couples involved in “Swinger’s Clubs.” But the hetrosexual community is so huge you can find every sort of fringe behavior in it, while the fringe seems the norm for gay males. It makes straights like me wonder what marriage vows really mean to gays. Do they really intend to even try “forsaking all others” or do they just want the benefits and social recognition and approval? Are they really trying to enter the mainstream, or are they trying to undermine it by rendering marriage meaningless? There is an undercurrent of immaturity in the gay community, an adolescent desire to shock the bourgosie (as expressed by people like “The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence,” the SF drag queens who dress like nuns). Grabbing the cross of an old lady and stomping on it just reinforces the idea that these are not serious adults, but overgrown kids who want it all their own way and throw temper tantums when their desires are not met.
No, I don’t think it is the state’s business to regulate personal behavior. And I am certainly not saying that straight people always behave maturely (yeah, right) or that every gay man is out there wearing leather chaps on Saturday night. But those antics are the sort of thing that make people go into the voting booth and vote yes to Prop 8.
If my comments offend anybody, I am sorry. That is truly not my intent. I’m trying to speak honestly about the problems I have with the idea of gay marriage, and I think other straight people, who do not wish to harm or hurt gays, share some of my qualms.
