Masters of Manipulation: How to Spot Narcissists, and How to Deal with Them
Or, say, the guy will drink. High- schoolers have to put some effort into finding alcohol, but a grown man? after all the school info sessions about how out-of-control one gets after drinking? that don’t specify that one drink is one thing, and five tequila shots is something else entirely?
Or, well, any guy is usually going to remember or recount only the good parts. Girls mention everything. So, when a guys talking- you’re not thinking, forty girls with 50 good parts, you’re thinking about one entirely overwhelmingly perfect other girl versus little ol’ you. It’s not a good feeling.
Or, knowing that you are entirely disposable. Used to be, supposedly you could dazzle a guy with, ah, physical prowess? is that a nice way of saying it? Now, presumably, girls are completely adept at, well, everything. Add in a guy with a porn collection–that’s just a recipe for misery and humiliation, any way you look at it. And there is literally nothing you can do, that someone else can do better, or more theatrically, and, well, with less emotional cost to the guy. Warmth assumes he might like you for you. How often does that come up?
And, again, that whole asymmetric information thing. If he’s in the military- he’s been places that aren’t taught in school. at all. no geography, not one single class. if he’s in tech- again- places not mentioned in the news, just yet, if it’s cutting edge. Doesn’t it bug you when someone has no clue where you’ve been, or what you’ve been through? Imagine being that person, the no-clue person who knows they won’t know enough, ever.
and, if he’s good at guy stuff- I can assure you- whatever he’s good at- is not taught in english class- which, btw, is about half of all girly classes. Reading, writing, poetry, theatre, speech, social studies. To even understand what guys do ( and mind you, I’m just going off- he’s gorgeous, b/c face it, brains are behind the face) gorgeous guys- I’ve had to study military history on my own, which means I get it wrong- electrical engineering basics- again, I’m getting it wrong- chemistry- again, not a good, solid grasp- water-processing plants and reverse osmosis- marketing, legal work ( as distinguished from law school) topology, number theory, medical equipment factories and supplies, political history, how to set up a tank attack, how to judge your sales staff and their production numbers, all sorts of countries’ history and writings, oil exploration and processing…just to carry on half- decent conversations with really interesting, nice guys. They are good at this stuff, not me. I’m trying to stay level and pleasant with my really shabby education. It’s intimidating.
A smart, pulled together guy with all sorts of life experiences offers to take you out: When you’ve been around ignorant, violent low-lifes, it looks scary, not fabulous cool. It’s completely a gamble. But- again, if you want to get away from ignorant, violent low-lifes, you have to gamble.
have I answered your question?
