Adultery, and divorce, have consequences that I never hear spoken in these types of “open minded” discussions, which always seem to focus on the pol, and not the spouse. I find these discussions, and the approving attitude taken by an adulterer’s supporters, to be shallow and unconvincing. They always focus on their political hero and not nearly enough on the known-but-unseen victims of their actions – or the actions themselves:
Gavin Newsom betrayed his Best Friend (and Campaign Manager) whose wife was reportedly drunk at the time. Then he had the gall to show up, to “show support”, when his former-friend tried to launch a new career. (The friend/former campaign manager walked out in disgust.)
Antonio Villaragosa, L.A.’s mayor, was caught cheating with a Telemundo reporter, which got her suspended, and, I think, some other people fired. Villaragosa’s name is melded with his wife’s: I wonder how she feels about that now?
Lying to your spouse. Humiliating your spouse. Convincing the spouse they’re crazy for suspecting such a thing. Emotional breakdowns. Fighting your spouse (who’s done nothing wrong except trusting the adulterer) for what’s left in the marriage. The effects of betrayal may trigger mental illness, which may become permanent. (Some type of paranoia may set in, if others knew of the betrayal.) The ability to form new relationships may be hampered – or disappear altogether. Friendships can be destroyed as people are forced to choose sides. The “popular” spouse can lie about their reasons for doing wrong – or deny wrong altogether – and face less scrutiny. The pain, and confusion, of the children.
And, if the adulterer is a public person, there’s the added pain of hearing people, who didn’t experience such cruelty, say that what’s happened to the deserted spouse is of no consequence. Or how about the anguish of hearing the roar of the approving crowd for someone who the betrayed knows, clearly, deserves a lot less.
And let’s not forget:
In states with “no fault” divorce, the betrayed has to accept 50% of the blame for the destruction of the marriage – no matter what the adulterer may have done on their own. That would really make anyone’s day, wouldn’t it?
I could go on. And on and on. I guess, I just wanted to make clear, I really don’t think most people give this as much thought – or are as sensitive to the needs of the victims – as necessary.
