As a parent of 2 small boys, I think there are 2 issues at play here. One is the egomania of babyboomers, who are desperate to stay “young” so embrace their kids culture b/c they think it’s the fountain of youth. It actually makes them look like old people dressed up in kids clothes, which is pathetic. Under no circumstances should a 40-something year old woman (and I’m very close myself) wear pajama bottoms , a tank top and flip flops to the grocery store. The other issue is, frankly, one of class, or lack of. People I am parenting alongside are wealthier than they’ve ever been. What used to be luxury ( soaking tubs, granite counters, upscale sedans) are virtually common place. And people who don’t know better are confusing money with morals-If I’m rich then I must be right. Coupled with their general insecurities ( see clothing issue above) this leads them to believe that the only way to demonstrate that they’ve truly”arrived” is a) to spend ridiculous amounts of money on their child and b) treat everyone “beneath” them- the girl at the ice cream counter- like crap. My grandmother was not the nicest or warmest of persons but she taught me one very valuable lesson, and that was that the people who help you get through your day, that allow you to do whatever tremendously important thing it is you do, are the most important people in the world, and they are not to be treated badly. Whether it’s the waiter who brings you your food or the lady who cleans your house, these people, who do the jobs you can’t be bothered to, must be treated with dignity and respect, b/c without them, where would you be? Kids learn from what they see. My children’s first experiences with strangers is with the people who help us ( care givers, housekeeper) and heaven help them if every word out of their mouths to these adults is not preceded by Ms. whoever and followed by please or thank you. Children will not absorb respect for their fellow man from the atmosphere. And they won’t learn to respect adults if they can talk to their parents like they talk to their friends. There needs to be a distinction. If you do not model respect and then demand it, the kids will grow up to be self-serving, obnoxious, self-absorbed adults who cannot function in the real world. Oh, wait, look at that.The future has arrived.
