Ask Dr. Helen: Is Sleeping Apart Healthy for Marriage?
My parents and stepparents have all slept with whoever they were married to at the time, whenever they were in the same house, except for when someone was having severe difficulties (my stepfather is a snorer who wakes up repeatedly; after the first wake-up it’s better for him to move to a chair.) I think it’s mainly cultural expectation at work here, as they generally slept in the same bed even in the case where one morning showed up and one partner decided to leave permanently. No one’s ever moved to their mother’s place or into a hotel or something when they’ve gotten mad, though my stepdad does travel for his job quite a lot (he’s looking at a new position that’ll send him overseas for three weeks and home for one; it’d be the most he’s been at home since the late 1990s.)
Personally? If I ever get married, I’ll lobby strenuously for a king sized bed. I kick, and have been known to wake up with my head where my feet were the night before. I also tend to need a wall on one side, or I fall out of bed altogether. I’ve only fallen out one time when I’ve had a wall beside me, though I have hit my head hard enough to wake myself up on several occasions.
