Hi, this is regard to child support rather than alimony, but if anyone has the answer to this, I would love to hear it. First of all, a little backgroud information – I left my fiance’ after 4 years of horrendous physical, emotional and verbal abuse. I had a child with another man who was 7 at the time of our moving in together, and low and behold, just as I was getting ready to leave him, I discovered I was pregnant. He wanted me to have an abortion, and FOR ME, I didn’t think it was an option – I so love the child I already had, and despite the failure of the relationship, I felt that since I had been a single mother for 7 years prior to this one without support of any kind (emotional, parental, financial) I knew I could do it with another if I had to. He decided as my pregnancy progressed that he wanted to be in the child’s life – I had given him the choice to opt out and stay away, and he made the choice to stay, but didn’t participate in the pregnancy except to comment on how huge my belly was (I weighed 102 before pregnancy, gained 28 lbs. by the end, which was fine – my daughter was born healthy and 7 lbs. Shortly after she was born, he physically abused me again, and this time I had enough – I had him arrested, obtained a restraining order and left him for good. I didn’t ask for child support, but all of a sudden, after 2 years, his mother bought him a lawyer and he filed a motion for full custody, despite the fact that I allowed him unlimited access to his daughter under safe conditions – no drinking while he visited her, no going out to bars and dropping her off with strange sitters, no violence or verbal abuse in the household for any reason, and had the courts document the conditions, but unfortunately, when I asked for supervision, they chose his mother, despite the fact that he’s abused her physically and emotionally for years and she is not only scared of him, but she has enabled him from day one, all the while acknowledging to me that she knew he was abusive and offering me “tips” on how not to make him angry and how not to “deserve” the abuse. Talk about placing the lamb in the lion’s den – this is a pride of lions – okay, enough background – we have a motion filed asking for custody which was denied, and at that time, since I had not asked for support, the court also granted me support, but stated that our lawyers would work out the support, he would cover her health insurance and any daycare expenses (I work part-time and have a small home business) which means he pays about $300 per month, with the contingency that our lawyers will draw up a valid child support order to be signed by the judge. 5 months later and no child support order, and his lawyer is generating fees by sending letters offering $200 per month in child support, etc. when this man makes $120,000 per year and I make less than 35k this year, the last few were worse because he forced me to stay home with them – I live in FL, and it’s damn hard to support two kids on 29-32k per year, so I actually do need the support. The question I have is this – he recently filed another financial affidavit, and stated he made $36,000 last year – I have his bank statements from last year because I was doing accounting work for him while we were amicable, despite the fact that I refused to live with him or be romantic with him. His average monthly deposit was $15,000 per month. I was told by a lawyer a few years ago when I left him that it is common for men to reduce their incomes significantly when anticipating having to pay child support and that there has even been a syndrome named for it which is a word that stands for the words included in it, something about reduction of earning potential. Can anyone tell me what this syndrome is called, first of all, and does anyone have any advice on how to prove to the court that this is a sham – he’s filed a false IRS return, he’s purchasing outrageous “toys” for himself and living in a grand home with all the amenities that I helped him buy – can he at least send what the court determines is fair to help support his daughter? For so long I didn’t ask for a dime – I not only was scared of him, but I also preferred to do it on my own – I didn’t want anything dangling over my head or used against my by him. I didn’t want anything from him but to leave me alone unless it pertains to the health and happiness of our daughter, and I wanted him to be a good dad, which is a stretch to say that he is, but at least there is a mild attempt. His mother is the one who really wants custody, and who will be the primary caregiver if he is awarded joint custody, which I doubt due to his abusive and criminal past, but either way, I want to know the name of the syndrome when a man purposely reduces his income so his child support obligation amount will be reduced – in my case, significantly. $120,000 reduced to $36,000? He’ll never get away with it, but I really want to satisfy my curiousity, so if you can help, please do. God bless!
