Parent #1 and Parent #2 — Who’s First?
Ah, the law of unintended consequences, as our central authorities strive ever more mightily to blanch all meaning out of the language — under the strange credo that the more incoherently “neutral” our communication, the happier we will all be.
At first I thought it was a spoof, when reports came out that U.S. passport application forms will no longer ask you to list your “mother” and “father” — and will instead ask for details of “parent one” and “parent two.” But no, it’s right there in a Dec. 22 State Department press release, with added detail from State in stories yesterday on Fox and in the Washington Post. According to the State Department, the aim of the new form, to be rolled out in February, is to “provide a gender neutral description of a child’s parents” and “recognition of different types of families.”
OK, it’s true these days that American citizens hail from many different types of families, and I can see a case for official bureaucracies acknowledging that reality. But instead of trying to cram everything into categories so generic as to eliminate such time-honored elements of the human experience as “mother” and “father,” couldn’t modern realities be better acknowledged by adding a category or two? Or allowing a space to explain?
As it is, in its zeal to become gender-and-parent neutral, the State Department has now introduced into the equation a form of numerical inequality. Which of two parents is #1? Which is #2? — with all the clear implication of rank this entails? For that matter, do we still live in an age of only two parents? I’ve lost track.
No more Mommy, no more Daddy. Just Pari-One-Kenobi and Pari-Two-Kenobi … or as Yoda might say: “Meditate on this, I will … How embarrassing, how embarrassing.”
Wonder how long before its on birth certificates.
Sounds like the Cat and the Hat, Thing number 1 and Thing number 2.
I told my husband I am parent number 1, my son has been notified that from now on we are not Mom and Dad, but parent number 1 and parent number 2.
ONLY IN OBAMALAND, or, if we bounce back to times in our past, ONLY IN CARTERLAND.
(though I heasr Obama is making Carter look much better than he did a couple years ago!!)
This parent # 1 & 2 is obviously so idiotic that only the State Dept. could think of it.
At least the world is a better place now we have changed the language and the Gay-Lesbian-Transgender-Bisexual-omnisexual-transsexual feels included.
Isn’t it?
Once upon a time, #1 or #2 was a child’s way of politely explaining a ‘trip’ to the bathroom.
How about “RuPaulistic Testtube” for a third choice?
Next time I’m gonna put pick up truck under one category cuz I think I should have the right to marry one or a tree and raise a “family”, even if it’s all Barbie dolls. I’ll make cute little outfits for them and buy them their own airline seats and claim their baggage allowance too.
See? It’s not ALL bad.
“But, officer; I’m not parent #1 anymore. I got that operation to make me parent #2.”
How come parent #2 always gets twice the ice cream?
San Diego News Headline:
Homo Sapiens arrested by the TSA for impersonating wrong number.
And finally; There cannot ever be equal rights for #1 and #2, because the #2′s have twice the value of any #1.
I’m laughing my a** off. Thank you!
Disgusting. Shows you how far we’ve fallen as a nation. But that’s what all communist-style regimes want, total uniformity. No need for individual families anymore with traditional mothers and fathers, just numbers and information as to gender. Stalin would have been proud.
Again we find more and more PC BS entering our lives. How do we stop them? Maybe if we club more baby seals…
As an artist, I read so many politically correct artists statements involving their desire to combat social injustice, it makes me want to make art advancing social injustice.
JUST ANOTHER RIGHT TAKING FROM ”WE THE PEOPLE”..WHAT ARE THESE
PEOPLE THINKING..WE ARE NOT PARENT 1, OR PARENT 2. WE ARE MOTHER & FATHER? IF YOUR PLAYING THIS GAME, HAVE 2 DIFFERENT PASSPORTS. 1. FOR MOTHER & FATHER, OTHER FOR SO CALLED PARENTS 1, 2….why do we have to change because it P.C…
My guess is I will not be able to get a passport now–as I have a mother and a father not a parent #1 and a parent #2–and will not be able to fill out the new form.
So right. For that matter, I imagine there are just as many foster-care or abandoned children with NO parents to put in that blank as there are those who are appalled at the horrific and life-blasting challenge of determining whether Mike or George is the mommy. A space to explain makes about a bazillion times more sense, as it takes care of every eventuality.
PC run amuck.
Here’s what the department will do
They will not favor me or you
Moms or Dads are no more
They are such a bore
They’ll call them Thing One and Thing Two
Thank you Claudia, your wit places the absurdity of the actions coming from the DC funny farm just where they belong.
While drug cartel murderers cross freely into our country and our Secretary of State embraces Chavez, a man sworn to hurt our Country and our people, her staff offers up a solution for a seriously pressing international crisis, do I call Mamma Bodell Number 1 one or Papa Bodell Number 1? Help me Hillary I need further enlightenment from you and your brilliant colleagues.
Thanks again Claudia for placing our Government’s actions where they belong, on Saturday Night Live!
This is a perfect example of the left’s never-ending schemes; this time to control the language.
100 million normal conservatives spend about as much time in a year on politics as 100 thousand leftist nut jobs. This kind of crap is all they do, and stupid as this particular initiative is, overall, their efforts are amazingly successful. They know that one of the key secrets of success is showing up….even if you show up in a clown suit.
Is that what makes voting “present” such a successful tactic?
A lot of light-hearted comments here, but I don’t think this is in the least funny. When people ask what the gay agenda here, here is one of bullet points, now crossed off. After NPR is defunded, I’d like to see the Republicans go after nonsense like this. The Army is now so politically correct — another bullet point, that — it is losing the cream of its officer corps (corpse, as Obama would say). Check out the current Atlantic for that story.
This is wayyyy over the line, this elimination of “mother” and “father” on passport applications. We see ourselves many rungs down the ladder into complete degeneracy and control by totalitarian “non-discriminationists,” having sat back and merely whimpered after each step down taken by our government to kill off what remains of our Judeo-Christian Western Civilation.
Write your congressional representatives and create a HUGE stink about this OBVIOUS attempt to force atheistic liberalism on a country that does NOT want it. No amount of “inclusive language” snake-oil language clap-trap can hide their real agenda by now, to even the most featherheaded amongst us.
If we don’t put a stop to this insanity, I can guarantee you that this is not the end of the line for the leftists’ goals: this will be a soviet country, and soon, if we don’t STOP IT.
In Japanese the word for toilet is Benjo. On one mission over North Korea the B-29’s that were stationed in Japan, were given the call sign Banjo, except everyone pronounced it Benjo. “Benjo One this is Benjo Four and I need to do Number Two”, and things went downhill from there. The only thing is we didn’t get thrown out of the service for it.
They should label the categories ‘Sperm Donor’ and ‘Egg Donor’, with a third option space for ‘Surrogate Womb’.
For ‘Birth Place’, citizens should just enter ‘abandoned space ship in corn field in Iowa’.
Is that likde when we teach our children to use the numbers #1 and #2 when they have to go to the bathroom. Or to put it another way do we now refer to one another as being number #1 or number #2 when accusing one another of calling the other a vile name when filing for divorce. BTW, is there a spot for #3 and #4 in the event of divorce thus giving the stepparent(s) a number of their own.
What has this country come to and who the hell hired these stupid bastardo’s
Is Hallmark going to make the adjustments for Mother’s, I mean Parent One Day? Do I still get an ugly tie for Parent Two Day?
I see another problem….
Muslims (One of the left’s pet groups\ protected species) will soon press for a #3, #4, #5 so they can list all their wifes.
If only the birthmother is the mother (#2), what is the relation between the child and the rest of the fathers (#1) wifes?
Ridiculous idea yes.But the questioning should be which is parent 1 and 2.Male or Female ? Male or Male ? Female or Female ?
In reality you must submit a copy of you birth certificate along with the application.
Thank the late great gay Commonwealth of Massachusetts for this travesty. No humor here folks, check out the “Bathroom Bill” to see what perversions are next on tap. Massachusetts the first for everything and with California the harbinger of things to come.
“Illustrating absurdity with absurdity” as Rush used to say. Parents? What kind of regressionist notion is this? All Children belong to the state! They are on lease to individuals at the State’s discretion. So, there doesn’t need to be a ‘one’ or a ‘two’. In the spirit of Orwellian Newspeak, you only need one block. “Caretaker” The child can choose which one. They idea that we need two blocks is outmoded bourgeoisie thinking.
Now I’m upset. If the parents are given numbers then how come the children will still have names? Why not number all members of a family. Heck, why have pets with names? Pets are morally equivalent to people and should be numbered too.
Furthermore those environmentalist sages tell us that rivers, lakes, mountains, rocks, oceans, birds, animals, plants and all the children of Gaia are morally equivalent. I say they should all be numbered. River 10, mountain 54, bird 16 etc.
No more rock bands with silly names. Let’s give them silly numbers. “Bent Lenny and the Twisted Camels” deserve to be numbered as 5,999,777.
Yours etc
human # 7.35
Thank you for pointing this out, Claudia. I am one of the State Dept officers who has to administer this travesty. I would suggest to all parents, when filling out a Consular Report of Birth Abroad (in the Dept we call them CRBAs) form to just refuse to do so. Mark through the offending word and in bold lettering write in Mother or Father. Tell the Consular Officer that is who you are, not/not parent #1 or 2. And, then send your complaint straight to your congressman.
I would also suggest that every reader of PJM copy the link to the State Dept bulletin and send that, with your opinion attached, to your Senators and Representative. I work in the belly of the beast and can assure you that most (but certainly not all) State Dept diplomats have a border-line contempt for the democratic process. Use that process to show them who is (supposedly) in charge.
Let’s see. My daughter is adopted. So she has Parents 1 and 2 then there’s my husband and me… I think this makes me Parent#4.
I can’t wait until dads start calling their wives “Number Two” at the airport.
I’m planning a #2 protest in D.C.
This is how they get you. I’ve never seen a form that perfectly addressed all possible answers; there are ALWAYS some odd exceptions. In an attempt to make that go away, they either invent forms that are so stupidly lengthy and complex as to be worthless or impossible (remember that Congress has had to enact multiple ‘paperwork simplification’ acts to counterbalance this), or they alter fundamental categories.
On the face of it, this seems reasonable. “Hmmm. Not everyone has a ‘traditional family’, so let’s just change it to Parent 1 and Parent 2.” It is only in the aggregate when you sit back and notice the incomprehensible and silly babble that all of these little changes add up to that the nightmare becomes clear. It is in the very nature of government and bureaucracy (both sides, but more Left than Right) to attempt to address uncorrectable and often meaningless inequities by dreaming up greater inequities. To paraphrase George Carlin, “You cannot change a condition by changing the NAME of the condition.”
The entire purpose of forms and bureaucracy (literally government by desks – which actually IS critical to large scale mass processing of data) is to force raw data into uniform formats that can be speedily processed. The very nature of such mass alteration is that some square pegs will not fit neatly into round holes. The most effective solution to this is for the legitimately different responses to reasonably generic questions to be placed in a box marked “Other – please explain in the space provided.” Without going into the potential SOCIAL damage that some nameless clerk can do by changing ‘Mother’ to ‘Parent’, it is unreasonable to ask the great majority to alter their lives even in small ways in order to accommodate tiny minorities. This is always disruptive and unpopular, and therefore should not be asked of a people except rarely and when VERY clearly necessary.
When anachronistic or harmful language is recognized, the general society tends to make such corrections on its own. For example, ‘Policeman’ has become ‘Police Officer’, ‘Christian Name’ has become ‘Full Name’, and various ethnic words / epithets have been replaced by words deemed acceptable by the group. Each of these has led to semantic disputes, along with unenforceable government directives and laws and generation semantic disputes. The great and unmentioned fundamental problem here is the tendency of government to involve itself in areas in which it has no positive role or real business. THIS is the greatest single failure of all government, and is the root of all eventual tyranny – the desire of government to attempt to govern and enforce things it cannot, and therefore has no bloody business even attempting! This is the fundamental idea of libertarianism; that attempted government correction of many perceived inequities only leads to greater inequities! Some stuff cannot be fixed, but only made worse, so leave it alone!
Who is Parent One?
In the early 80′s I worked in London with a delightful young lady with an Aristocratic background dating back to William the Comqueror and their day trip to Hastings that has been so much fun they stayed. During a discussion on Parentage she offered this old Upper class adage: “Your Mummy’s a matter of Fact and your Father is a matter of opinion”
The serious point you make regarding nuetral language is that it impoverishes us all and makes rather amusing assumptions along it’s trail of Misery.
My best friend has a sideline business as a Landlord and was looking at purchasing a property within a block where he already owns several flats. Upon introducing himself by name and then his “partner” the tone of the viewing became rather camp and the vendor expounded on his Liberal views regarding same-sex civil partnerships, of course, my friend let it go as it had nothing to do with the acquisition. Driving his business “partner” home to his wife and two before returning to his arrangement of the same they looked at each other laughed long and loud and mock argued as to which of them would have been the “wife”