Don’t pay attention to where your money goes. If you were legally able to consume your Cheerios, you would produce more carbon dioxyde, that’s just metabolism 101. Luckily, the FDA is trying to prevent this disaster.

On the other hand, this is going to make it harder for the EPA to punish you for the nasty stuff you failed to emit on account of holy cereal deprivation. Not to worry, the HHS has a fully tarped-up cool-aid remedial program, so your pursuit of happiness will be provided for eventually, and you will still owe the tax, so your patriotism will be preserved as well!

Happy mother’s day, Mr. President!