PRO: You can continue Oprah’s book club and make unknown authors famous.
- CON: You will be forced to read big boring briefing books by unknown policy wonks.
PRO Every day you can positively influence our nation and the world.
(Oprah’s show is currently in 145 countries.)
- CON: If you run for president and lose, your influence diminishes. If you run and win, only slightly half the country will like you. The other half that didn’t vote for you will continue to dislike you, but the half that voted for you will eventually disapprove of you anyway because being president means you ultimately have to tick off most of your supporters to get stuff done.
PRO: You will make news on Entertainment Tonight not Meet the Press.
- CON: Sunday talk shows are so boring with bad lighting and way too many gaffe opportunities.
PRO: Your only economic stimulus will be boosting ad revenue on Sarah!
- CON: Dealing with trillions of debt and a slumping dollar reminds you of that boring econ class.
PRO: On Sarah! you will have a friendly studio audience every day.
- CON: As president, Congress will be your permanent studio audience with knives and fangs.
PRO: Invite Tina Fey on Sarah! so you can imitate her imitating you during ratings week.
- CON: She might imitate you imitating her imitating you.
PRO: You both end up jumping on the couch and it’s the lead story on Entertainment Tonight during ratings week. Everyone wins!
Sarah, it’s obvious why Sarah! replacing Oprah is a no-brainer. Just imagine: by 2012 your ratings will be so high that President Obama will call and ask if he can be your guest the last week of the 2012 presidential campaign.
Then the biggest presidential decision you will ever have to make is whether to take his call.