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What’s Wrong with Making Future Generations Pay for our Debt?

Unless they get so angry at us that they send terminators from the future to kill us.

by
Frank J. Fleming

Bio

August 6, 2011 - 12:59 am
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Come on; we all know what future generations are like. They’re going to look back at us and say, “Oh, look at those people from 2011 with their backwards morals and primitive scientific knowledge! What a bunch of cavemen!” Yeah, that’s right; they’re going to make fun of us. And while they’re making fun of us, they’ll be playing around with their laser guns and jet packs and robot maids — all of which they’ll completely take for granted. Future generations are a bunch of arrogant, over-privileged punks! I hate them. And I don’t see any reason to feel bad for leaving such awful people tons of debt. Maybe that will wipe those smug smiles off their genetically altered faces.

So there’s really no downside to leaving debt to those horrible jerks in the future. None.

…Unless they get so angry at us that they send terminators from the future to kill us. That’s definitely a possibility, but if they try that, we can easily fight back. For instance, we could bury a bunch of time capsules that are not to be opened for fifty years. Then when future generations open them — BOOM!

Yes, some might label this “terrorism,” but the true terrorism is the notion that we should be paying this debt now, and we’re not going to stand for it. We need to send the message to future generations that he who controls the present controls the future, and that means we can easily hurt them — much more easily than they can get to us. And if those arrogant scumbags think that we’re going to pay for that debt here in the present, well, we have a few violent messages for them. They should just be happy that debt is the only thing we’re leaving for them, because it could be a lot worse.

So, to any future generations reading this in the internet archives on your holographic screens — or perhaps downloading it directly to your brains — I have this to tell you: It would be nothing for us to destroy everything you hold dear. Why, we can just nuke this whole world now, and that’s the end of you. And you can’t stop us. So that’s why you’re going to pay all of our debt and like it.

Or you can just leave the debt to your children as well. I don’t see any problem with that. Frankly, I think we should all just keep passing it on until society collapses under it and the apes takeover. Then they can pay down the debt. Big hairy jerks.

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Frank J. Fleming is the author of Punch Your Inner Hippie, coming November 11th, and the science fiction novel Superego, coming later this year, writes columns for PJ Media and the New York Post, and blogs at IMAO.us, and also wants little Barry to wear a hat so he doesn't catch a cold.
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